I feel compelled to write this down. I read a lot of blogs. Some every day, some once, twice, linked from other blogs, found by accident. This week, I found a blog that made my heart hurt and my arms ache to hold my babies.
I was reading this post on Tracey’s blog and went on to read about Hannah’s mom. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything so tragic, so loving, so beautiful, and so very full of pride and hurt. I ache for this mom, this family that I have never and will never meet. What a beautiful little girl, what a terrible loss.
The very thought makes me hurt all over. My stomach hurts, my heart hurts, my arms ache to hold my boys tight and protect them from all the horrible things that could happen. It happens every day to families who never think it could happen to them. It makes me want to be a better mom, to make sure beyond any doubt that they know I love them more than my next breath, that they’re the reason I get up in the morning, that those 2 sets of brown eyes are the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and oh God how very lucky I am to have them.
Don’t waste it. Hug your babies, tell them you love them, dress up in sparklies in honor of Hannah, play a silly game, pick some flowers, have a tickle fight. Above all, be there. Be the strength behind everything they do, love them so hard they feel it no matter where they are. We have no way of knowing what life will bring next, so live it as hard as you can.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
To an athlete
I don’t know who wrote this, but if anyone knows, please share so that I can give credit where credit is due. I am working on a football program, and this is included, titled To An Athlete. However, it reminded me of my boys and I see that this is how Kyan feels about Jaben. Thinking about it as a little brother to big, it put a lump in my throat and of course I had to share.
There are little eyes upon you,
And they’re watching night and day;
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say;
There are little hands all eager
To do anything you do;
And a little boy who’s dreaming
Of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s idol,
You’re the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you,
No suspicions ever rise;
He believes in you devoutly,
Holds that all you say and do,
He will say and do, in your way
When he’s a grown-up like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow,
Who believes you’re always right,
And his ears are always open,
And he watches day and night;
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do,
For the little boy who’s waiting
To grow up and be like you.
There are little eyes upon you,
And they’re watching night and day;
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say;
There are little hands all eager
To do anything you do;
And a little boy who’s dreaming
Of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s idol,
You’re the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you,
No suspicions ever rise;
He believes in you devoutly,
Holds that all you say and do,
He will say and do, in your way
When he’s a grown-up like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow,
Who believes you’re always right,
And his ears are always open,
And he watches day and night;
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do,
For the little boy who’s waiting
To grow up and be like you.
Friday, July 06, 2007
4th recap n stuff
We had a nice 4th of July, in spite of Kyan being sick and Jaben being at Boy Scout camp. I can't believe how much I'm missing him now and I can't wait for him to get home tomorrow! So for now, I'll recap the 4th... with pictures!
First, we went the the annual 4th of July parade. Jaben's scout troop came back from camp to be in the parade, so we were very excited! Here's Kyan waiting for the start of the parade... in the sprinkles that, thankfully, didn't last too long.
Jaben's float was one of the first to come by, and they were moving quite fast! This was the only picture I had time to get, and it wasn't a very good one. A good friend of mine got a better picture... in fact she got great pics of the whole parade! For her recap, go here: Palm Tree Fanatic
And here's Jaben, looking far too excited to be in the parade.
My cousin Timmy is in the middle school marching band. He plays drums, but as they passed us, he was pushing another drummer in his wheelchair. So, that's what I got my picture of.
Later, my aunt, my sister, her friend and kids came for a cookout. I didn't get pics of that because, as I said, Kyan's been sick. So we napped a bit and then ate. After that I took a trip with another mom out to Camp Firelands to visit our big boys for Parent's Night. Jaben was actually happy to see me and hugged me in front of his friends! Here's my sweet boy...
We had a picnic dinner with the boys while we were there. Here's Jaben and Logan (whose mom I rode with) having their dinner. Jaben is drinking root beer, btw!
We then took a fun, bumpy hayride back to the boys' camp area to see where they're living (amongst the big 'ol wolf spiders!) for the week. I forgot to get a pic of their camp, but I did get a pic on the hay wagon of Jaben and his tent mate, Matt.
One odd side... when we were on the hay wagon heading back to the front of the camp, I ran into someone I knew in high school! Hey Tina... remember Geneva?? Remind me to tell you about that! So very odd!
When we got back to the front, Jaben bought a slushie and I ran to the ladies room. There was quite a line and I guess he got tired of waiting for me. Poor kid was all worn out!
So... I took a couple of quick shots of the front of the camp because it was pretty. These pictures can't begin to do it justice. It was gorgeous!
And then it was time to leave. I did buy Jaben a pretty cool water bottle with all kinds of scout camping stuff inside it before we left, and he's been a bit bored at camp without enough scheduled activities to do (long story) so he said he wanted to come with me. Logan told his mom the same thing, but I don't think they really wanted to come home. I think maybe it was just a little hard to see us leave. I'm sure they're having fun and they'll be home tomorrow so we'll hear all about it.
We didn't go the fireworks that night because, as I said before, Ky's been fighting a cold. But we could hear them from our house! That was unexpected! It was nice, for once, not to have to fight traffic as well as actually get a halfway decent night's sleep. I did have to work the next day, after all.
First, we went the the annual 4th of July parade. Jaben's scout troop came back from camp to be in the parade, so we were very excited! Here's Kyan waiting for the start of the parade... in the sprinkles that, thankfully, didn't last too long.
Jaben's float was one of the first to come by, and they were moving quite fast! This was the only picture I had time to get, and it wasn't a very good one. A good friend of mine got a better picture... in fact she got great pics of the whole parade! For her recap, go here: Palm Tree Fanatic
And here's Jaben, looking far too excited to be in the parade.
My cousin Timmy is in the middle school marching band. He plays drums, but as they passed us, he was pushing another drummer in his wheelchair. So, that's what I got my picture of.
Later, my aunt, my sister, her friend and kids came for a cookout. I didn't get pics of that because, as I said, Kyan's been sick. So we napped a bit and then ate. After that I took a trip with another mom out to Camp Firelands to visit our big boys for Parent's Night. Jaben was actually happy to see me and hugged me in front of his friends! Here's my sweet boy...
We had a picnic dinner with the boys while we were there. Here's Jaben and Logan (whose mom I rode with) having their dinner. Jaben is drinking root beer, btw!
We then took a fun, bumpy hayride back to the boys' camp area to see where they're living (amongst the big 'ol wolf spiders!) for the week. I forgot to get a pic of their camp, but I did get a pic on the hay wagon of Jaben and his tent mate, Matt.
One odd side... when we were on the hay wagon heading back to the front of the camp, I ran into someone I knew in high school! Hey Tina... remember Geneva?? Remind me to tell you about that! So very odd!
When we got back to the front, Jaben bought a slushie and I ran to the ladies room. There was quite a line and I guess he got tired of waiting for me. Poor kid was all worn out!
So... I took a couple of quick shots of the front of the camp because it was pretty. These pictures can't begin to do it justice. It was gorgeous!
And then it was time to leave. I did buy Jaben a pretty cool water bottle with all kinds of scout camping stuff inside it before we left, and he's been a bit bored at camp without enough scheduled activities to do (long story) so he said he wanted to come with me. Logan told his mom the same thing, but I don't think they really wanted to come home. I think maybe it was just a little hard to see us leave. I'm sure they're having fun and they'll be home tomorrow so we'll hear all about it.
We didn't go the fireworks that night because, as I said before, Ky's been fighting a cold. But we could hear them from our house! That was unexpected! It was nice, for once, not to have to fight traffic as well as actually get a halfway decent night's sleep. I did have to work the next day, after all.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Jaben's website
While still somewhat under construction, it's still a pretty good start for an 11 yr old with limited computer knowledge. I know - they're supposed to know more than we do, right? He's learning tho and this site might just end up being very cool. Check it out, increase his hit count and sign his guest book!
Jaben's games n stuff
PS He's at scout camp this week so it'd be very cool for him to come home to a huge increase in hits!
Jaben's games n stuff
PS He's at scout camp this week so it'd be very cool for him to come home to a huge increase in hits!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Fighting... with an 8-1/2 yr age difference?!?
Seriously... they're fighting today. There are 8.5 yrs between them and they are FIGHTING!
Um... like brothers?
Who would've thought that they'd already know how to push each others buttons so. I guess I don't need to worry too much about the age difference keeping them from having a normal sibling relationship. They've already mastered one of the most important parts of growing up with a sibling... driving each other insane! They are extremely supportive of each other tho. Kyan will be the first to clap and give Jaben a "good job!" when he's done something praise-worthy, and Jaben celebrates all of Kyan's milestones right along with the rest of us (using the potty on his own!!), so I know they love each other. I just think today they're having a day when they don't really like each other.
Normal, yes. Frustrating? You'd better believe it. I just gave my first double time out and... I didn't really like it. That was no fun. One of them looked at me like I was a moron (gotta love that pre-teen know it all phase) and the other one looked at me like I took away his puppy.
Hopefully we'll be able to move to the new house sooner rather than later, then they can have their own rooms as well as a playroom and maybe, just maybe, having that extra space will level things out a bit.
Oh, I didn't mention we're very likely moving to a new house? It's a family-owned home (meaning owned by my mother's family - it belonged to my grandma and grandpa) and it's recently been empty. It needs a lot of work (so does the house we live in now) but it's got enough bedrooms that everyone could have their own, plus there would be a rather large playroom, once we're finished with the remodel the kitchen will be huuuuuge, it has a gigantic back porch that will be screened in for hanging out and playing (yay for a rainy-day playspace!), a garage, and will have a large fenced-in yard! I do hope things work out because that would be so very nice. I'd love to be in the same area of the house as the boys, I'd love for them each to have their own rooms... and I'd love everything else we'd most likely end up having with this other house.
Plus, it's right up the street from some life-long friends of ours and it'd be very cool to have friends that close. Our neighbors here... well, they kind of suck. I'm very hopeful that this will work out and I'm definitely excited! I can't wait to get out of this house! Hopefully Sept-Oct..... Cross your fingers!!
Um... like brothers?
Who would've thought that they'd already know how to push each others buttons so. I guess I don't need to worry too much about the age difference keeping them from having a normal sibling relationship. They've already mastered one of the most important parts of growing up with a sibling... driving each other insane! They are extremely supportive of each other tho. Kyan will be the first to clap and give Jaben a "good job!" when he's done something praise-worthy, and Jaben celebrates all of Kyan's milestones right along with the rest of us (using the potty on his own!!), so I know they love each other. I just think today they're having a day when they don't really like each other.
Normal, yes. Frustrating? You'd better believe it. I just gave my first double time out and... I didn't really like it. That was no fun. One of them looked at me like I was a moron (gotta love that pre-teen know it all phase) and the other one looked at me like I took away his puppy.
Hopefully we'll be able to move to the new house sooner rather than later, then they can have their own rooms as well as a playroom and maybe, just maybe, having that extra space will level things out a bit.
Oh, I didn't mention we're very likely moving to a new house? It's a family-owned home (meaning owned by my mother's family - it belonged to my grandma and grandpa) and it's recently been empty. It needs a lot of work (so does the house we live in now) but it's got enough bedrooms that everyone could have their own, plus there would be a rather large playroom, once we're finished with the remodel the kitchen will be huuuuuge, it has a gigantic back porch that will be screened in for hanging out and playing (yay for a rainy-day playspace!), a garage, and will have a large fenced-in yard! I do hope things work out because that would be so very nice. I'd love to be in the same area of the house as the boys, I'd love for them each to have their own rooms... and I'd love everything else we'd most likely end up having with this other house.
Plus, it's right up the street from some life-long friends of ours and it'd be very cool to have friends that close. Our neighbors here... well, they kind of suck. I'm very hopeful that this will work out and I'm definitely excited! I can't wait to get out of this house! Hopefully Sept-Oct..... Cross your fingers!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Daycare switch hell
Have I posted that Kyan is at a new daycare? I don't know if I did. It's so hard to find the time to post anymore (especially since blogger is NO LONGER COMPATIBLE with my mac at work!) that I don't know what I've posted and what I haven't. Regardless, our super-wonderful-love-her-to-death daycare provider is moving to South Carolina and we're going to miss her like crazy. That also means we needed to find a new home for Kyan during the days. Lynn suggested someone, we met her, liked her, and started Kyan over there, and that's where things got rough.
Kyan isn't the most adaptable kid to begin with. He wants things the way he wants them and if he's not happy, he lets you know it. I wouldn't call him difficult, exactly, but headstrong for sure. Yeah, definitely headstrong. But that's not what this is. Lynn has a little boy, just his age, I think 2-3 months older, named Chad. He and Kyan are best friends, brothers. They have spent all day together since Kyan started there last August. That's not long to you and me, but to Kyan and Chad, it's been forever. I don't think they can remember ever not having each other.
So, while our new provider is great, she's not Lynn and she doesn't have Chad. And Kyan is very, very sad. I even got a call at work yesterday about how pitifully sad Kyan is. She said he's breaking her heart... he's not being difficult, he's not being whiney, but he's so very sad and nobody - not even Mommy - knows how to help him. He's grieving, he's hurting, he misses his friend so much, and he's not big enough yet to understand what's going on. I can't explain this one to him and it hurts to see him so hurt.
Lynn brought Chad over last night to visit and Kyan was so happy! After they left he smiled at me, jumped up and down and said, "I play Chad today!" That's the happiest I've seen him in a week. We're going out this morning, but after nap this afternoon we're going to go to their house to visit. I'm going to bring my camera and get some pictures so Kyan will have them, but we can't do this forever. They're leaving Weds to go look at a house Lynn's husband found and if they like it they'll stay to sign papers and do the closing. All they'll have left to do here is sell their house. So he can't get used to going to Chad's house to play.
I wish I knew what to do to make this easier for him. I wish there was some way to let Kyan know that Chad is okay, Lynn still loves him and they miss him, but they're going to be living somewhere else soon, too far to go play. I wish I could fix it all for him and I just can't. And that makes ME sad.
Kyan isn't the most adaptable kid to begin with. He wants things the way he wants them and if he's not happy, he lets you know it. I wouldn't call him difficult, exactly, but headstrong for sure. Yeah, definitely headstrong. But that's not what this is. Lynn has a little boy, just his age, I think 2-3 months older, named Chad. He and Kyan are best friends, brothers. They have spent all day together since Kyan started there last August. That's not long to you and me, but to Kyan and Chad, it's been forever. I don't think they can remember ever not having each other.
So, while our new provider is great, she's not Lynn and she doesn't have Chad. And Kyan is very, very sad. I even got a call at work yesterday about how pitifully sad Kyan is. She said he's breaking her heart... he's not being difficult, he's not being whiney, but he's so very sad and nobody - not even Mommy - knows how to help him. He's grieving, he's hurting, he misses his friend so much, and he's not big enough yet to understand what's going on. I can't explain this one to him and it hurts to see him so hurt.
Lynn brought Chad over last night to visit and Kyan was so happy! After they left he smiled at me, jumped up and down and said, "I play Chad today!" That's the happiest I've seen him in a week. We're going out this morning, but after nap this afternoon we're going to go to their house to visit. I'm going to bring my camera and get some pictures so Kyan will have them, but we can't do this forever. They're leaving Weds to go look at a house Lynn's husband found and if they like it they'll stay to sign papers and do the closing. All they'll have left to do here is sell their house. So he can't get used to going to Chad's house to play.
I wish I knew what to do to make this easier for him. I wish there was some way to let Kyan know that Chad is okay, Lynn still loves him and they miss him, but they're going to be living somewhere else soon, too far to go play. I wish I could fix it all for him and I just can't. And that makes ME sad.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Beauty and the Beast
MY KID IS SO TALENTED!!!!
This past Friday, June 1, Jaben was in Beauty and the Beast, as Gaston. Yes, my short little dude played a big, burly, arrogant jerk and he was GOOD at it! He acted his little hiney off, actually.
This was Jaben's part! Absolutely beyond the shadow of a doubt! He was INCREDIBLE! He was so funny, he was so good, he didn't miss a line and in fact he knew the other kids' lines when they forgot them! He had the audience in stitches - even in places I didn't think people would laugh he played it so well they went NUTS! Seriously! At intermission people were coming up to me telling me what an amazing job he was doing, he's so talented... I could not believe it! I mean, yeah, I knew he was hitting it out of the park, but wow! To have the other kids' parents be that impressed is HUGE! I can't wait to get the DVD!!!
Okay, I'm bragging my butt off here, but I feel like I can honestly say that there was only one other child on that stage that was even remotely as good as he was, and that was the girl who played Belle. I talked to her mother after and she said the same thing... they both just blew the other kids away. I know, I know, not so great for the other kids (there were some BIG problems with the castle objects) but wonderful for ours! I already KNOW how talented he is!! I was literally sitting there thinking, "Wow... that's MY son!" I could not be more proud of him!
Just after his entrance:
All the girls looooove Gaston:
I’m too handsome (yes, this is a blurry action shot):
As you can see I’ve got biceps to spare:
Dancin’:
Kill the beast (another blurry action shot):
After the show:
This past Friday, June 1, Jaben was in Beauty and the Beast, as Gaston. Yes, my short little dude played a big, burly, arrogant jerk and he was GOOD at it! He acted his little hiney off, actually.
This was Jaben's part! Absolutely beyond the shadow of a doubt! He was INCREDIBLE! He was so funny, he was so good, he didn't miss a line and in fact he knew the other kids' lines when they forgot them! He had the audience in stitches - even in places I didn't think people would laugh he played it so well they went NUTS! Seriously! At intermission people were coming up to me telling me what an amazing job he was doing, he's so talented... I could not believe it! I mean, yeah, I knew he was hitting it out of the park, but wow! To have the other kids' parents be that impressed is HUGE! I can't wait to get the DVD!!!
Okay, I'm bragging my butt off here, but I feel like I can honestly say that there was only one other child on that stage that was even remotely as good as he was, and that was the girl who played Belle. I talked to her mother after and she said the same thing... they both just blew the other kids away. I know, I know, not so great for the other kids (there were some BIG problems with the castle objects) but wonderful for ours! I already KNOW how talented he is!! I was literally sitting there thinking, "Wow... that's MY son!" I could not be more proud of him!
Just after his entrance:
All the girls looooove Gaston:
I’m too handsome (yes, this is a blurry action shot):
As you can see I’ve got biceps to spare:
Dancin’:
Kill the beast (another blurry action shot):
After the show:
Friday, June 01, 2007
Prayer request
Since I believe you can never have too many people praying and sending you good thoughts, I'm going to ask that you keep a friend of mine in mind. I don't know her IRL, "just" online, but I know that she's an amazing person, with a husband and a son she loves and a huge heart. She just found out that she has skin cancer. I don't have details or anything, and honestly, even if I did I don't think I'd post them. All I want is to get as many healing vibes and prayers out to her as possible.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
um
Yeah, it'd be nice if I'd update, wouldn't it?
But I'm not.
So yes, this post is a teaser.
If you haven't already, join Facebook and look me up. I discovered it this week (well actually I'd already heard about it, but I finally joined this week) and am now looking for friends. Check it out - it could very well be addictive! Like we all need more reasons to go online.
C-ya!
But I'm not.
So yes, this post is a teaser.
If you haven't already, join Facebook and look me up. I discovered it this week (well actually I'd already heard about it, but I finally joined this week) and am now looking for friends. Check it out - it could very well be addictive! Like we all need more reasons to go online.
C-ya!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Roller Coaster Day
Things have been so up and down the past couple of days! This weekend, the boys were difficult, to say the least. Kyan was very whiney and seemed overtired a lot of the time, but wouldn’t take good naps. Jaben’s jobs this weekend were to mow the lawn, clean his bedroom and take out the trash. That’s it.
It took him 2 days to take out the trash.
It took him 2 days to mow the lawn.
His bedroom is still not finished.
He was mouthy and disrespectful to me; he talked back to his grandmother (BIG no no!!), and he took his frustrations out on his little brother – who is not old enough to understand. He was just not my sweet Jabe this weekend and I refuse to raise a brat.
So, I took away his tv, his video game, his mp3 player, and his comic books. He’s not allowed to watch tv or play on the computer. I even took away Boy Scouts this week.
Because of all this, my Monday didn’t start out so hot. But then after school, Jaben called and told me he got Student of the Month at school! I’m so proud of him! With all the problems he’s had at school, this is major! He’s had a huge turn around this year and his teachers have made sure to tell me how great he’s doing – but this is a wonderful confirmation! I’ve already put the cheesy “Student of the Month” window sticker on my car and I think it looks great there. I LOVE IT! Oh, and now he gets to go to Boy Scouts this week.
And then, more bad news. I found out my babysitter’s husband got transferred. And I am heartbroken. He was asked what it would take for him to move, so he picked a huge amount of money and a few other things and they found out yesterday that the company agreed. He has to be there Monday! In North Carolina!! She and the kids will be following soon… so I’ve got a month to find a new provider and refigure all my summer plans for the boys. Jaben was going to be there 2 days a week, and Kyan… I’m still crying and I can’t stop. Not continually, but y’know.
It’s just that he LOVES her. And she really loves him. And her 2-yr old and Kyan are like brothers. She came over last night to talk, because she wouldn’t tell me this kind of thing over the phone or when I’m rushing to work, thank God, and watching them play together just about broke my heart. I LIKE her. I hate to lose her… she’s like family and she’s such a good person. She said she’s a little irked at her husband because he did this without consulting her, but it’s done now and they have to deal with it. She’s not happy tho, and neither are the kids. When I dropped Kyan off this morning, her 8 yr old asked me if I cried last night and I told him I did. He said he did too and he doesn’t want to move. He’s the one with autism… and I wonder how it’s going to affect him. His therapists are here, his doctors are here and they’ve done so great with him. I’d never have known he’s severely autistic if she hadn’t told me. He’s also one of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen.
She gave me the name and number of the only provider she’s willing to recommend, but who’s going to have space NOW? School will be out in a month and I’m afraid everyone has already been booked up for the summer. Even if this woman can make space (she did ask her to try to make space for Kyan and a couple of other children who she loves), it’s going to be another big change for Kyan. He’s been so happy there, he’s blossomed, he LOVES her son and he’s not old enough to understand.
How do you explain to a 2-yr old that he’s losing his best friend and his entire weekday world? This sucks. It just sucks.
I didn’t sleep well last night, thinking about things. I got up this morning wishing I could run thru Starbucks on the way to work, but since Kyan’s sperm donor quit his job and I’m no longer getting child support, that’s not an option. Or it wasn’t, until I found a little package that arrived for me from a sweet friend. It was an early Mother’s Day present and it had yummy Heath bars, cute magnets, and the one thing I really needed right then… a Starbucks gift card. What a great thing to find this morning! It definitely made me feel better! I hope tho, that things will settle down for me. Honestly, I can take up up up or down down down, but this up and down has got to stop!
*sigh* Maybe once I find a new babysitter? We’re really going to miss her.
It took him 2 days to take out the trash.
It took him 2 days to mow the lawn.
His bedroom is still not finished.
He was mouthy and disrespectful to me; he talked back to his grandmother (BIG no no!!), and he took his frustrations out on his little brother – who is not old enough to understand. He was just not my sweet Jabe this weekend and I refuse to raise a brat.
So, I took away his tv, his video game, his mp3 player, and his comic books. He’s not allowed to watch tv or play on the computer. I even took away Boy Scouts this week.
Because of all this, my Monday didn’t start out so hot. But then after school, Jaben called and told me he got Student of the Month at school! I’m so proud of him! With all the problems he’s had at school, this is major! He’s had a huge turn around this year and his teachers have made sure to tell me how great he’s doing – but this is a wonderful confirmation! I’ve already put the cheesy “Student of the Month” window sticker on my car and I think it looks great there. I LOVE IT! Oh, and now he gets to go to Boy Scouts this week.
And then, more bad news. I found out my babysitter’s husband got transferred. And I am heartbroken. He was asked what it would take for him to move, so he picked a huge amount of money and a few other things and they found out yesterday that the company agreed. He has to be there Monday! In North Carolina!! She and the kids will be following soon… so I’ve got a month to find a new provider and refigure all my summer plans for the boys. Jaben was going to be there 2 days a week, and Kyan… I’m still crying and I can’t stop. Not continually, but y’know.
It’s just that he LOVES her. And she really loves him. And her 2-yr old and Kyan are like brothers. She came over last night to talk, because she wouldn’t tell me this kind of thing over the phone or when I’m rushing to work, thank God, and watching them play together just about broke my heart. I LIKE her. I hate to lose her… she’s like family and she’s such a good person. She said she’s a little irked at her husband because he did this without consulting her, but it’s done now and they have to deal with it. She’s not happy tho, and neither are the kids. When I dropped Kyan off this morning, her 8 yr old asked me if I cried last night and I told him I did. He said he did too and he doesn’t want to move. He’s the one with autism… and I wonder how it’s going to affect him. His therapists are here, his doctors are here and they’ve done so great with him. I’d never have known he’s severely autistic if she hadn’t told me. He’s also one of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen.
She gave me the name and number of the only provider she’s willing to recommend, but who’s going to have space NOW? School will be out in a month and I’m afraid everyone has already been booked up for the summer. Even if this woman can make space (she did ask her to try to make space for Kyan and a couple of other children who she loves), it’s going to be another big change for Kyan. He’s been so happy there, he’s blossomed, he LOVES her son and he’s not old enough to understand.
How do you explain to a 2-yr old that he’s losing his best friend and his entire weekday world? This sucks. It just sucks.
I didn’t sleep well last night, thinking about things. I got up this morning wishing I could run thru Starbucks on the way to work, but since Kyan’s sperm donor quit his job and I’m no longer getting child support, that’s not an option. Or it wasn’t, until I found a little package that arrived for me from a sweet friend. It was an early Mother’s Day present and it had yummy Heath bars, cute magnets, and the one thing I really needed right then… a Starbucks gift card. What a great thing to find this morning! It definitely made me feel better! I hope tho, that things will settle down for me. Honestly, I can take up up up or down down down, but this up and down has got to stop!
*sigh* Maybe once I find a new babysitter? We’re really going to miss her.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Interview
I just posted - I know, don't have a heart attack - 2 posts in one day! But I just looked at my blog and I saw that Kimberly posted my interview questions! A while back, in her blog she posted about interviewing each other and I volunteered because, well, if you read my other post you know ideas have been hard to come by. So, without futher adiou...
1. Who was your very first teen idol crush?
I'd say Rick Springfield, but I wasn't a teen yet and he was past that. How 'bout I go with Wil Wheaton? First, I can link to HIS blog (does this make me creepy stalker girl now?), and second he was such a cutie! I like me some geek-boys and ya gotta like one who's proud of it. I used to know the entire dialogue to Stand By Me, and my walls were covered with posters of Wil, Corey and Corey. *sigh* To be young and silly again!
2. What is your biggest regret?
Way to ask the tough questions! I honestly think my biggest regret is not finishing my teaching degree. I'd be making WAY more money now with summers off to spend with the kiddos when they're out of school.
3. Your greatest hope?
My greatest hope is that my boys grow up to be good people. I want them to both earn their college degrees, find good jobs, someone to love who will love them and treat them well, and to have all the healthy children they desire. The biggest thing that I can hope for is my boys to have long, happy, healthy lives and to be able to handle whatever life throws their way.
4. If you could do one totally selfish thing, with no consequences, what would it be?
Ooh... temptation! I only get one, huh? I think I'd hop a plane to Paris. I'd shop on credit (no consequences includes no CC debt, right?), visit the Eifel tower, wander around the city taking in all the sights, visiting museums and just relaxing and enjoying myself. Oh, and I might have an affair with a hot Frenchman.
5. Who would win in a fight, Betty or Wilma?
Wilma. Betty is such a wus.
Okay, now if anyone read this and would like to be interviewed, post in the comments with a link to your blog and I'll think up some interview questions for you!
1. Who was your very first teen idol crush?
I'd say Rick Springfield, but I wasn't a teen yet and he was past that. How 'bout I go with Wil Wheaton? First, I can link to HIS blog (does this make me creepy stalker girl now?), and second he was such a cutie! I like me some geek-boys and ya gotta like one who's proud of it. I used to know the entire dialogue to Stand By Me, and my walls were covered with posters of Wil, Corey and Corey. *sigh* To be young and silly again!
2. What is your biggest regret?
Way to ask the tough questions! I honestly think my biggest regret is not finishing my teaching degree. I'd be making WAY more money now with summers off to spend with the kiddos when they're out of school.
3. Your greatest hope?
My greatest hope is that my boys grow up to be good people. I want them to both earn their college degrees, find good jobs, someone to love who will love them and treat them well, and to have all the healthy children they desire. The biggest thing that I can hope for is my boys to have long, happy, healthy lives and to be able to handle whatever life throws their way.
4. If you could do one totally selfish thing, with no consequences, what would it be?
Ooh... temptation! I only get one, huh? I think I'd hop a plane to Paris. I'd shop on credit (no consequences includes no CC debt, right?), visit the Eifel tower, wander around the city taking in all the sights, visiting museums and just relaxing and enjoying myself. Oh, and I might have an affair with a hot Frenchman.
5. Who would win in a fight, Betty or Wilma?
Wilma. Betty is such a wus.
Okay, now if anyone read this and would like to be interviewed, post in the comments with a link to your blog and I'll think up some interview questions for you!
To blog or not to blog
That is the question. I don't even feel guilty anymore about going full weeks without a post because I honestly don't think anyone even reads my inane ramblings. Plus, I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I obviously CAN'T blog about so I'm having trouble even coming up with cute/weird/funny stuff to post about the boys.
The whole thing is beginning to seem rather pointless and self serving. And that's silly because it kind of feels like a chore, when I think about it. Which, honestly, I often don't.
But on the other hand, I like having this blog, I like the connections I've gotten from other bloggers and I love when someone I enjoy reading links to me. And honestly, why wouldn't I enjoy the "all about me" factor?
I guess if I did one of those blogs where you do a theme every day it might not seem as daunting as trying to come up with an idea that's not assinine, but I'm not a joiner and most of those have a main blog that generates the ideas. So not for me.
Maybe rather than quitting altogether, and let's be honest - if I wanted to quit I'd have done it rather than endlessly talking about it - it's time for a major revamp. Now that's an idea I can get behind. A project!!
Bears thinking about. Guess we'll find out, won't we!
The whole thing is beginning to seem rather pointless and self serving. And that's silly because it kind of feels like a chore, when I think about it. Which, honestly, I often don't.
But on the other hand, I like having this blog, I like the connections I've gotten from other bloggers and I love when someone I enjoy reading links to me. And honestly, why wouldn't I enjoy the "all about me" factor?
I guess if I did one of those blogs where you do a theme every day it might not seem as daunting as trying to come up with an idea that's not assinine, but I'm not a joiner and most of those have a main blog that generates the ideas. So not for me.
Maybe rather than quitting altogether, and let's be honest - if I wanted to quit I'd have done it rather than endlessly talking about it - it's time for a major revamp. Now that's an idea I can get behind. A project!!
Bears thinking about. Guess we'll find out, won't we!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sorry no posting
I need to post about Jaben's bridging ceremony to boy scouts and a lot of other things, and I will. But right now I need to figure out where I can make a little more money every week, under the table. Anyone have any ideas??? I'm not kidding. I can clean someone's house, or run errands, or whatever. Just so that the hours don't interfere with my "real" job and won't take me away from my kids much more. And definitely can't be taxable. I'm open for pretty much any suggestions at this point.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Kalahari!
Yes, it really did take me 3 days to get around to the post. But oh we had such a good time! Our room was awesome! We had 2 bedrooms, one for my sister and her gf - that room had it's own bathroom with a jacuzzi tub! We never did get to use the jacuzzi tub - one night just isn't enough - but it was very cool just having it. The other room had 2 double beds for the boys and me.
Here is Jaben laying on one of the beds in our room...
And a not-so-great shot of Kyan sitting at the table in our living/dining room...
The first night we went swimming and rode the waterslides, of course! That was great! Kyan really loved the lazy river, and we all loved the hot tub. That one starts inside, but you can swim thru to go outside. That was really neat - I've never been in an outdoor hot tub before. Sad, I know, but it was very cool. Later, Jaben had his free waverider lesson. He did very well!
Here is his instructor showing off his skills before the lesson...
This is Jaben, boogie boarding. He had a hard time getting up to his knees, never quite made it to his feet unassisted, so he worked on boogie boarding tricks...
I wanted to upload the short, about 14 second video of Jaben on the wave rider, but it doesn't want to work for me today. So, if you want to see it, please clink Jaben on the wave rider
The next morning, while we were waiting (forever) for our overpriced breakfast, I took Kyan out of the restaurant to walk around since he's impatient, and we ran into a new friend. I ran back and grabbed Jaben and the camera. Kyan LOVED this guy so much we brought home a much smaller, stuffed version...
After more time at the waterpark...
and some video games for Jaben (sorry, I wasn't photographing such a common occurance!) we went to the indoor play area, where Kyan had a blast!
Then it was back to the room to get outta there...
and get one last shot of the boys near the front desk...
We brought home a t-shirt for Jaben, a small ew-funt (elephant) for Kyan, and candy for each. Of course these pictures don't document everything, but how many pictures of my kids do you really want to see?
Oh! You want more?? Well.......................
Just kidding! I'll save other pics of my oh-too-cute kids for another post. If you ever get a chance to get to Kalahari Resort, we all highly recommend it. However, if you can afford more than one night, we also recommend you do 2. There's just not enough time to do and see everything.
Here is Jaben laying on one of the beds in our room...
And a not-so-great shot of Kyan sitting at the table in our living/dining room...
The first night we went swimming and rode the waterslides, of course! That was great! Kyan really loved the lazy river, and we all loved the hot tub. That one starts inside, but you can swim thru to go outside. That was really neat - I've never been in an outdoor hot tub before. Sad, I know, but it was very cool. Later, Jaben had his free waverider lesson. He did very well!
Here is his instructor showing off his skills before the lesson...
This is Jaben, boogie boarding. He had a hard time getting up to his knees, never quite made it to his feet unassisted, so he worked on boogie boarding tricks...
I wanted to upload the short, about 14 second video of Jaben on the wave rider, but it doesn't want to work for me today. So, if you want to see it, please clink Jaben on the wave rider
The next morning, while we were waiting (forever) for our overpriced breakfast, I took Kyan out of the restaurant to walk around since he's impatient, and we ran into a new friend. I ran back and grabbed Jaben and the camera. Kyan LOVED this guy so much we brought home a much smaller, stuffed version...
After more time at the waterpark...
and some video games for Jaben (sorry, I wasn't photographing such a common occurance!) we went to the indoor play area, where Kyan had a blast!
Then it was back to the room to get outta there...
and get one last shot of the boys near the front desk...
We brought home a t-shirt for Jaben, a small ew-funt (elephant) for Kyan, and candy for each. Of course these pictures don't document everything, but how many pictures of my kids do you really want to see?
Oh! You want more?? Well.......................
Just kidding! I'll save other pics of my oh-too-cute kids for another post. If you ever get a chance to get to Kalahari Resort, we all highly recommend it. However, if you can afford more than one night, we also recommend you do 2. There's just not enough time to do and see everything.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The phone call
Just got a phone call from Jaben.
“Mom! Guess what I just saw!”
“What’d you see?”
“In the alley off ** street? There were a bunch of kids sitting on their bikes, and all of a sudden 2 of them started fighting!”
“Did you see how stupid they looked?” (who doesn’t look stupid fighting?)
“They didn’t look stupid to me, they looked like they were hurting each other. Anyway someone’s mom broke it up.”
“You stayed away, didn’t you?” (oh do not get involved in other people’s fights!)
“Yeah. I just kept walking…”
Well, at least he knows enough to realize fighting is a bad thing. If they didn’t look stupid to him, at least he thought it looked painful.
I can work with that.
***************************************************
I’m leaving work at 1:30 tomorrow to get home and get the car loaded. We’re heading out to Kalahari at 3:30/3:45 for the night! I’m going to tryyyyyy to remember to take pics (and NO, none of them will be of ME, especially in a bathing suit!)
***************************************************
I’m a terrible blogger. I’m not sure at this point if I’m going to keep doing it. We’ll see. Infrequent updates about nothing going on aren’t much fun, are they? Sorry ‘bout that.
“Mom! Guess what I just saw!”
“What’d you see?”
“In the alley off ** street? There were a bunch of kids sitting on their bikes, and all of a sudden 2 of them started fighting!”
“Did you see how stupid they looked?” (who doesn’t look stupid fighting?)
“They didn’t look stupid to me, they looked like they were hurting each other. Anyway someone’s mom broke it up.”
“You stayed away, didn’t you?” (oh do not get involved in other people’s fights!)
“Yeah. I just kept walking…”
Well, at least he knows enough to realize fighting is a bad thing. If they didn’t look stupid to him, at least he thought it looked painful.
I can work with that.
***************************************************
I’m leaving work at 1:30 tomorrow to get home and get the car loaded. We’re heading out to Kalahari at 3:30/3:45 for the night! I’m going to tryyyyyy to remember to take pics (and NO, none of them will be of ME, especially in a bathing suit!)
***************************************************
I’m a terrible blogger. I’m not sure at this point if I’m going to keep doing it. We’ll see. Infrequent updates about nothing going on aren’t much fun, are they? Sorry ‘bout that.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Cake Boy
Last night, Bama (AKA Grandma) needed to make a cake for a birthday at work (coincidentally, today is her birthday as well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!). As she was gathering pans and ingredients to begin mixing, Cake Boy (AKA Kyan) noticed what Bama was doing and got very excited. “Bama makin’ cake! Cake, cake, cake!”
Now usually this is very cute, how excited he gets about cake. But not so much when you know he doesn’t know that it’s not for him and he probably won’t get any.
So, Bama went about the mixing, the boys got to lick bowls and beaters and the cake went into the oven. It smelled wonderful, and Cake Boy couldn’t help but say, “Bama cookin’ cake,” every now and again.
Eventually, as cakes do, it was done and cooled and ready to come out of the pan. And there was Cake Boy, fork in hand (seriously), waiting to have some cake. There is no face more sad than the face of Cake Boy when he’s told he’s not going to get any…
“Oh… buddy I’m sorry. The cake is for Grandma to take to work.”
Cake Boy frowned, walked slowly over to the silverware drawer and put his fork back. He looked so very sad as he dropped the fork into its place. It’s just cake, but if I could just show you his little face, you’d understand….
…just why Bama brought a cake to work today that had one little piece missing.
But Cake Boy went to bed happy, and full of cake and milk.
Now usually this is very cute, how excited he gets about cake. But not so much when you know he doesn’t know that it’s not for him and he probably won’t get any.
So, Bama went about the mixing, the boys got to lick bowls and beaters and the cake went into the oven. It smelled wonderful, and Cake Boy couldn’t help but say, “Bama cookin’ cake,” every now and again.
Eventually, as cakes do, it was done and cooled and ready to come out of the pan. And there was Cake Boy, fork in hand (seriously), waiting to have some cake. There is no face more sad than the face of Cake Boy when he’s told he’s not going to get any…
“Oh… buddy I’m sorry. The cake is for Grandma to take to work.”
Cake Boy frowned, walked slowly over to the silverware drawer and put his fork back. He looked so very sad as he dropped the fork into its place. It’s just cake, but if I could just show you his little face, you’d understand….
…just why Bama brought a cake to work today that had one little piece missing.
But Cake Boy went to bed happy, and full of cake and milk.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
Wait, what was the title again?
I tried to post something earlier in the week but couldn't get my pictures to work. See, I only think of good things to post about when I'm just about to fall asleep at night. Not a good time to hop up, get online, and amaze you all with my brilliance. So instead, I'm posting pictures of my cute kids. I think it's a fair trade off, don't you?
Boys in a hamper
This one is from around Christmas 06, thus the tree in the background.
Jaben-Bob Marley pants
One of those shots from A Christmas Carol I never posted. At least I think I didn't.
Kyan's big face
I love this one! Check the dimples on my little guy... gotta love 'em!
Giant Equicizer picture
This is one my aunt took of Jaben sitting on an Equicizer for their ad in the next play program. I didn't want to crop it and apparently didn't bring the size down enough, thus... Giant Equicizer picture.
Cake is yummy!
Those who know Kyan know that cake is his favorite. He loves any and all cake and would eat it any time of the day or night. He sometimes even just asks for cake for no reason, would eat pancakes every day if he could... he just loves cake. Also not brought down far enough, sorry.
Next time, a real post. I promise. Until then you've got these 2 very cute kids to look at so it's no problem whatsoever, right?
Boys in a hamper
This one is from around Christmas 06, thus the tree in the background.
Jaben-Bob Marley pants
One of those shots from A Christmas Carol I never posted. At least I think I didn't.
Kyan's big face
I love this one! Check the dimples on my little guy... gotta love 'em!
Giant Equicizer picture
This is one my aunt took of Jaben sitting on an Equicizer for their ad in the next play program. I didn't want to crop it and apparently didn't bring the size down enough, thus... Giant Equicizer picture.
Cake is yummy!
Those who know Kyan know that cake is his favorite. He loves any and all cake and would eat it any time of the day or night. He sometimes even just asks for cake for no reason, would eat pancakes every day if he could... he just loves cake. Also not brought down far enough, sorry.
Next time, a real post. I promise. Until then you've got these 2 very cute kids to look at so it's no problem whatsoever, right?
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Ah... the toilet
We really need to get this potty training thing going full force.
I bought cute new flip flops for summer today. 30 minutes later they were swimming in the toilet.
Thank God I bought him some boxer-briefs. He will start wearing them soon and learn what the potty is really for.
Oh my poor shoes!
***********************************
Sorry, updated to add... I am SO GLAD I don't have girls! And I'm embarassed that my company does some printing/design for American Girl. Shame on them!
http://oneofthosehorriblemoms.blogspot.com/2007/03/fake-out.html
I bought cute new flip flops for summer today. 30 minutes later they were swimming in the toilet.
Thank God I bought him some boxer-briefs. He will start wearing them soon and learn what the potty is really for.
Oh my poor shoes!
***********************************
Sorry, updated to add... I am SO GLAD I don't have girls! And I'm embarassed that my company does some printing/design for American Girl. Shame on them!
http://oneofthosehorriblemoms.blogspot.com/2007/03/fake-out.html
Monday, March 26, 2007
Relaxing weekend…
All the illness has been banished from our home! And I hope it stays that way for a long time! I don’t think I can take any more.
Friday, since I’d been sick all week, I decided Kyan and I wouldn’t do much. I got my house cleaned (yay!), did some laundry, and we ran over to the store to get stuff to make cupcakes! We watched far too much tv (I swear he’d watch all day long if I’d let him) and just got caught back up. Chinese for dinner and that’s about it. Nice!
Saturday, Jaben’s Cub Scout pack had their pinewood derby. Aunt Keli goes every year (she helps make the car!), so we picked her up a little before 10, got to the church and weighed in. Jaben’s car was dead on for weight, so we had an hour to kill. 2 hotdogs, 3 drinks, 3 bags of chips and 2 cookies later, they were ready to begin!
Jaben was called up to lead the pledge of allegiance and the Cub Scout promise!!!! Of course I suck and didn’t bring a camera, but he looked so grown up and proud up there… I wish I had pics to share. He didn’t know he was doing it, but he was very proud – he did a very good job!! As for the race, he lost his first heat, won his second and lost his third. So we left because I didn’t see any need to hang around to see who won and really, we were all done by then.
Went home, tried fruitlessly to get Kyan to take a nap, and around 2:30 left to the rec to go swimming. That was a lot of fun!! Jaben’s a fish, and Kyan - in his own words says, “I wuv it simmin’!” That made me laugh… my 2 little fishies! I was the same way as a kid, and Jaben and I decided it’d be fun to be mer-people and live in the water.
But, we got hungry around 4:30, so off to Burger King with us!
We’ve got 2 BK’s in town, but one play area is better padded and more Kyan-sized, so we went there. Conveniently right up the street from the rec center. We all ate and then the boys played for a while. More fun for Kyan than Jaben tho… being Kyan-sized it’s a little small for Jaben. I told him next time we’d go somewhere more suited to him.
Sunday, we took it easy again. Hung around in pajamas for a long time, did some laundry, then during Kyan’s nap time I forced Jaben out back to do some yard work. He didn’t do much, but I raked up tons of leaves and we cleaned up more trash than I’m willing to admit! Jabe frustrates me to no end, but at least the yard looks better. Not great, by any means, but better. For now I’ll take better.
Once Ky got up, we played outside for a while longer, then went for ice cream. Kyan ate an entire small vanilla cone! The whole thing!! I guess he was hungry. * guilty *
Once we got back from the ice cream place, we were done! Fend for yourself dinner (I did remember to feed Kyan!), lots of possibly inappropriate Fox prime time cartoons and bed.
I love this warmer weather and wish it would go ahead and stay this way. It won’t… we always get one snowfall in April… but I’d be fine with skipping that this year. It just feels like a more productive, restful, family kind of weekend when we can get out and do things.
Bring on summer!!
Friday, since I’d been sick all week, I decided Kyan and I wouldn’t do much. I got my house cleaned (yay!), did some laundry, and we ran over to the store to get stuff to make cupcakes! We watched far too much tv (I swear he’d watch all day long if I’d let him) and just got caught back up. Chinese for dinner and that’s about it. Nice!
Saturday, Jaben’s Cub Scout pack had their pinewood derby. Aunt Keli goes every year (she helps make the car!), so we picked her up a little before 10, got to the church and weighed in. Jaben’s car was dead on for weight, so we had an hour to kill. 2 hotdogs, 3 drinks, 3 bags of chips and 2 cookies later, they were ready to begin!
Jaben was called up to lead the pledge of allegiance and the Cub Scout promise!!!! Of course I suck and didn’t bring a camera, but he looked so grown up and proud up there… I wish I had pics to share. He didn’t know he was doing it, but he was very proud – he did a very good job!! As for the race, he lost his first heat, won his second and lost his third. So we left because I didn’t see any need to hang around to see who won and really, we were all done by then.
Went home, tried fruitlessly to get Kyan to take a nap, and around 2:30 left to the rec to go swimming. That was a lot of fun!! Jaben’s a fish, and Kyan - in his own words says, “I wuv it simmin’!” That made me laugh… my 2 little fishies! I was the same way as a kid, and Jaben and I decided it’d be fun to be mer-people and live in the water.
But, we got hungry around 4:30, so off to Burger King with us!
We’ve got 2 BK’s in town, but one play area is better padded and more Kyan-sized, so we went there. Conveniently right up the street from the rec center. We all ate and then the boys played for a while. More fun for Kyan than Jaben tho… being Kyan-sized it’s a little small for Jaben. I told him next time we’d go somewhere more suited to him.
Sunday, we took it easy again. Hung around in pajamas for a long time, did some laundry, then during Kyan’s nap time I forced Jaben out back to do some yard work. He didn’t do much, but I raked up tons of leaves and we cleaned up more trash than I’m willing to admit! Jabe frustrates me to no end, but at least the yard looks better. Not great, by any means, but better. For now I’ll take better.
Once Ky got up, we played outside for a while longer, then went for ice cream. Kyan ate an entire small vanilla cone! The whole thing!! I guess he was hungry. * guilty *
Once we got back from the ice cream place, we were done! Fend for yourself dinner (I did remember to feed Kyan!), lots of possibly inappropriate Fox prime time cartoons and bed.
I love this warmer weather and wish it would go ahead and stay this way. It won’t… we always get one snowfall in April… but I’d be fine with skipping that this year. It just feels like a more productive, restful, family kind of weekend when we can get out and do things.
Bring on summer!!
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