Yeah, I wouldn’t either. So we’ve got some catching up to do.
This week, I had a BAD MOMMY MOMENT! Yes, that’s right – I admit it. Occasionally I am a BAD MOMMY. No, I did not spank my kids, or yell at them for no good reason (although the big one will tell you that one has happened – not that I’m proud of it), I didn’t book plane tickets to someplace warm and tropical to dive into a fruity adult beverage, preferably with an umbrella, and I didn’t show up to a PTA meeting in stilettos and a micro mini. Although that might be fun.
What I did was… and I should be ashamed to admit this… I cut the big one’s hair! Yeah, I said it. I cut my son’s hair. This is not something any mother without a license should do. Ever. For any reason. Ever. I cannot stress this enough.
I wish I had pictures to illustrate exactly why it is an incredibly bad, bad, BAD idea to cut your son’s hair, but honestly, I wouldn’t do that to him. He actually had to go to school yesterday with the hair above his ears uneven, by about 1/2 an inch. Extremely noticeable from the front. But did I notice this before I sent him out the door that day? Uh…. No. I noticed last night.
“Jabe… did you know your hair is crooked?”
Not looking away from the tv, “Yeah, I knew.”
“Well why didn’t you tell me! I never would’ve let you go to school like that!”
Still staring at the tv, “I didn’t know… people told me at school.”
No. Oh no… I actually messed my child’s hair up so badly that other kids noticed!!!!! Noooooooo!!!!
Of course in my infinite Mommy wisdom, I couldn’t just leave it and wait for his haircut appointment on Friday with someone who actually knows what she’s doing. That would make far too much sense. No, I decided we needed to go into the bathroom right that minute and fix it. FIX IT. Um… yeah.
So, armed with the clippers, a tiny comb, and a lot of hope, I went to work. By the time I was finished, the bathroom was covered with millions of little snips of hair, the little one’s jammies were hairy – that’s right HAIRY, because he refused to stand anywhere other than right under the big one where the hair was falling, and the big one’s hair… Well actually it doesn’t look too bad. It’s a little shaved looking around the ears, but otherwise you probably wouldn’t know that his rocket-scientist-genius of a mother took it upon herself to cut his hair.
We are still going on Friday to get him a real haircut, but for now I don’t think he’s going to get picked on about it. Not too much, anyway. And to keep away the urge to cut his hair myself again any time soon, I think we’ll be going for something like this: