Monday, July 10, 2006

The one where I talk about Jaben

I love my son.

No, amend that – I love my sons. Both of ‘em. And I’m sure I’ll have something about Ky when it gets closer to the time his daycare is switched, but right now I’ve got Jaben on my mind.

I’m happy he’s got friends and is, for the most part, doing well. This weekend he had 2 buddies sleep over and I know that at one point he felt left out. They were playing with the Playstation2 the one boy brought with him and they never gave Jabe a turn. I’m not sure why or what they were thinking, but they wouldn’t let him play. Now I know they’re 10-11 yr old boys and fair doesn’t really factor… but it was our home, our tv and even if it wasn’t his Playstation2 – I still feel like it was crap that he didn’t get a turn. I know it bothered him because he mentioned it to me. He also said he was just trying to get me to buy him a Playstation2 (not happening). So I’m not sure how he was feeling about it.

But I’m also very sensitive about this kid. I do NOT want him to go thru what he did in the third grade. I can’t let him have to live thru that again, and next year he’ll be at school with some of the kids who tormented him that year. I’d like to think that better teachers and a better principal will make sure that doesn’t happen. But what if it does? I’m sure all of that stuff that went on is what makes me worry so much about how he’s doing, socially, and probably why I say yes to practically every sleepover… but it’s not unfounded and I don’t want to see his self-esteem plummet again, I can’t hear him begged to be homeschooled every day, I don’t want him to think or feel that he’s not as good as the other kids or to think less of himself.

So how do you help that not to happen? I have absolutely no idea. It’s not as if it’s not hard enough to be 10 yrs old as it is, but to have all that in your past, and to worry about going to another new school where kids from the school you left to stop being bullied will be going… it’s a lot to deal with. I don’t think he’s really thinking about that now, but I am. I just want him to be happy and have 3-4 good friends he can rely on. I’d like to think that’s what he’s got now, but I honestly don’t know for sure. There’s no way to be sure about anything. I guess all I can do for now is hope, and make sure he continues to have a great summer.
But if anyone has any suggestions, I’m listening.

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