Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Sick to death of the bullies

Jaben called me from skating last night, asking if he could walk home. His grandma was supposed to pick him up so I told him to get ahold of her. He didn’t sound right so I asked him what happened, and he said nothing. But by the time I got home that nothing had turned into a giant purple bruise on his chin.

Some little brat had tripped him. Again.

One kid has already been banned from skating for messing with Jabe, and now he’s got a new bully to deal with? What the hell?!?

Is it because he doesn’t stand up for himself? I know that’s part of it. One well aimed, well timed punch and I think that’d be it. Or it would at least help.

Or is it because he’s creative, artistic, slightly different from the other kids? In a LOT of ways he’s a typical 11-yr old kid. But in some ways, the best ways, he’s his own person. Is that threatening? I know it’s not good for peer-relations to be different at this age, but he should not have to deal with this crap for being who he is.

And what about the parents of these kids? I know some parents who allow, and even encourage this kind of behavior. “Be the bully, not the victim. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, to whomever you want. ..” Blah blah blah. Grow the hell up and teach your kids to be decent human beings. There are also the parents who are completely clueless as to who their kids are. Or worse, are in denial. Pay attention to who they are and what they do – NOT what you would like to think they are. I am fully aware that my son (and I’m sure at times Kyan will follow suit) can be a jerk at times. It is my job to correct that, when it happens. If you’re not, if you allow it to continue, you are not doing your job, and are, due to your negligence and poor parenting, responsible for the kids your child is tormenting.

I asked him last night if he liked himself. Or rather, if he loved himself. I told him I’d read somewhere that the best way to be happy is to first love yourself. He thought about it for a minute, then smiled and said yes, he does love himself and he likes who he is. And I guess that’s what’s most important. They can leave bruises on the outside, but on the inside he’s hanging in just fine. Thank God.


Tracey said...

Sigh... sorry for your son. No advice, but hugs.

The Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Queen said...

Aw Rebecca, that sucks hard. I hope Jaben knows how wonderful he is and even though it's hard to understand now, being true to himself and loving himself and not trying to be something he isn't makes him SO much better than all those other kids.


(and that delete is from me...I couldn't just let a glaring grammatical error stay there...sorry! lol!)

Stacy said...

That does suck. It makes you want to kick all their little arses. You're such a good Mom Rebecca, and you're teaching Jaben to be such a better person than those other little kids. Good for you!