Thursday, June 19, 2008

Twelve years ago today...

12 yrs ago today I was sitting in the hospital room (incidentally the same room Kyan was born in) watching Rosie O'Donnell and the monitor for contractions.

12 yrs ago today I had no idea what was coming next... all I knew was that I couldn't wait to meet my baby.

12 yrs ago today my life changed forever and I am so thankful for it.

Jaben is 12 today. TWELVE. How did I get to be the mother of a 12 yr old? I don't feel like I'm old enough! One more year and I'll be the mother of a teenager! Gosh, that sounds so old! He starts middle school in the fall, he's got his own interests and friends, he grunts his answers and doesn't tell me everything anymore. He already acts like a teenager in so many ways.

But he's amazing. He's so smart and funny - he's got a great sense of sarcasm, which is my favorite. I love that about him! He's handsome and kind, sweet and loving. He doesn't show that he cares what other people think of him - he cares of course and he's working on that - he doesn't let the opinions of others affect his actions, his day, or how he feels about himself. I think that's very rare in a kid his age, and even tho I know it came, in part, from everything he's gone thru in school and with other kids, it's a good thing because it's a quality that will serve him so well in his future. Even tho his little brother drives him crazy, he's an amazing big brother. He loves him and protects him and only wants the best for him. As long as it doesn't interfere with Jaben getting his share. Very, very normal, and I'm glad he gets to have that experience, even with the age difference.

I don't think I'm the best mom, but I think I'm the best mom for him. Because he's the best kid for me. Some people believe that we choose who our parents are going to be before we are born. I'm not sure if I believe that or not, but it sure is a humbling thought. Why would such an amazing person choose me? I can't begin to imagine, but whatever the reason, however I got him, I'm so lucky and am so blessed to have him in my life.

Happy 12th Birthday, Jaben! I love you so much!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


I've been trying to keep Kyan occupied and let him have a little fun while we're home together. It's mostly just me and him since Jaben is so busy - he has a life outside of this house! (yay Jabe!) So yesterday we went to the library to get some books for both of us and a free DVD for Kyan. I can't tell you how excited I was to find Dumbo!

I haven't seen Dumbo since I was a little kid (Jaben says he's never seen it and I believe him - I don't remember ever watching it with him), so I didn't remember much about it, except that Dumbo is a flying elephant. The things I had forgotten! I loved the movie and so did Kyan, but I kept thinking that there is no way Disney would get away with this movie today. I'm pretty open minded, but even I was a little uncomfortable with the "grown up" elephants making fun of, and excluding Dumbo - who was just a baby, and the frequent use of the word "freak" to describe Dumbo... simply because he had big ears. So if that bothered me, I just can't see how it would get by today. Imagine the "Dumbo protests" there would be!

I had also completely forgotten about the scene in which Dumbo and the mouse get drunk (!) and see the pink elephants. Seriously... a baby elephant in a Disney movie getting drunk! It was funny. Probably somewhat inappropriate (especially since I had to find a way to explain to Kyan what was going on - the water made them silly), but funny nonetheless. And the elephants on parade sequence? So very, very cool. It's got some great classic Disney animation and is a bit psychadelic, which, I think, makes it unique. Check it out for yourself:

Thursday, June 12, 2008

One more

Okay, seriously? I'm not nearly as into politics as I seem lately. But I had to share this video. I receive emails from a group called and today I got this video. They're trying to raise money to have this commecial with John Cusack aired (you can go to their website to donate). I love John Cusack and I love that he seems to share my feelings about this upcoming election. Check out the video, check out and get informed. And, if the spirit moves you, donate to help get the commercial aired. Thanks!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

It's quiet

It's after 9am on a Tuesday and both boys are still sleeping. I don't think Kyan's ever slept this late in his life and I even went in to check and make sure he was still breathing! I think the heat of the past few days got to him and he's just worn out. He was running around in the hot playroom last night and threw up. The heat is not his friend - he has such a delicate system to begin with that he just can't handle it. He and I went yesterday to buy an air conditioner for the living room window. It's not fabulous, but it makes the house livable. We're going today to buy one for my bedroom. Even tho the temp has dropped today, we're still going to need it.

I have been working on a few things. I've gotten my resume put up on Monster. I'm working on a second blog to showcase some of my portfolio, as well as my resume. That's going to have to be without the contact info - other than the email address. The site doesn't look too good yet - I had a block or something when I finally sat down to do it, but it will get better and I will link to it when I'm ready.

I also have an order form to redo for my aunt and uncle's business. I am hoping to get to that later today, so that I can get it to them for proofing and revisions.

I need to clean my house, go thru things on the back porch and in the garage for the sale in a couple of weeks. I need to organize my bedroom, Kyan's room, paperwork I haven't filed or even really touched in too long. I need to have breakfast.

Things are moving along, albeit slowly. It'll get there, and it's easier to be motivated today than it was yesterday. It's cooler today, the heat makes me drowsy. At least now tho, when it gets too hot again, Jaben's and my sunburns are healed enough that we'll be able to go swimming again.

Also, Jaben's play(s) was this weekend. My sister took pictures for me since my camera died. As soon as she gets them to me I will post some. He was amazing! It always blows me away to see him on stage -- he's gotten so comfortable and seems so natural you'd never know the amount of work that goes into each show. Wait until I post the pictures - he was a simply awesome Artful Dodger! 5 shows under his belt and he's signed up for #6 in December. WTG Jaben!