I should be excited about my boys going on a trip with their grandma to visit my sister and her family in Delaware. And I am, for them. For me? Not so much. I had to stay here and work, which isn't a big deal, it's just that I'm going to miss them.
I don't know how to come home to an empty house, without hugs. Or go to bed without goodnight kisses and deep inhales of sweaty little boy neck. I don't know how to go a whole day without saying, "Did you brush your teeth?" or "Did you put on deodorant?" I don't know how to go about the day-to-day not acting as Mom.
But I guess that's something I need to learn. Sure Kyan's only 5, but they're not going to be at home with me forever. Maybe it's time for me to begin to discover again who I am besides mommy. Mommy is my favorite title tho, so that's tough. However, I think it'd be best for me and for them if I take this week to begin to figure that out. Or begin figuring out how to figure that out. Or something.
Anyway, the boys are gone for a week and I'm on my own. And the only plans I've made are to grab some Chinese takeout on the way home and then get some groceries.