Saturday, May 19, 2007


Yeah, it'd be nice if I'd update, wouldn't it?

But I'm not.

So yes, this post is a teaser.

If you haven't already, join Facebook and look me up. I discovered it this week (well actually I'd already heard about it, but I finally joined this week) and am now looking for friends. Check it out - it could very well be addictive! Like we all need more reasons to go online.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Roller Coaster Day

Things have been so up and down the past couple of days! This weekend, the boys were difficult, to say the least. Kyan was very whiney and seemed overtired a lot of the time, but wouldn’t take good naps. Jaben’s jobs this weekend were to mow the lawn, clean his bedroom and take out the trash. That’s it.

It took him 2 days to take out the trash.

It took him 2 days to mow the lawn.

His bedroom is still not finished.

He was mouthy and disrespectful to me; he talked back to his grandmother (BIG no no!!), and he took his frustrations out on his little brother – who is not old enough to understand. He was just not my sweet Jabe this weekend and I refuse to raise a brat.

So, I took away his tv, his video game, his mp3 player, and his comic books. He’s not allowed to watch tv or play on the computer. I even took away Boy Scouts this week.

Because of all this, my Monday didn’t start out so hot. But then after school, Jaben called and told me he got Student of the Month at school! I’m so proud of him! With all the problems he’s had at school, this is major! He’s had a huge turn around this year and his teachers have made sure to tell me how great he’s doing – but this is a wonderful confirmation! I’ve already put the cheesy “Student of the Month” window sticker on my car and I think it looks great there. I LOVE IT! Oh, and now he gets to go to Boy Scouts this week.

And then, more bad news. I found out my babysitter’s husband got transferred. And I am heartbroken. He was asked what it would take for him to move, so he picked a huge amount of money and a few other things and they found out yesterday that the company agreed. He has to be there Monday! In North Carolina!! She and the kids will be following soon… so I’ve got a month to find a new provider and refigure all my summer plans for the boys. Jaben was going to be there 2 days a week, and Kyan… I’m still crying and I can’t stop. Not continually, but y’know.

It’s just that he LOVES her. And she really loves him. And her 2-yr old and Kyan are like brothers. She came over last night to talk, because she wouldn’t tell me this kind of thing over the phone or when I’m rushing to work, thank God, and watching them play together just about broke my heart. I LIKE her. I hate to lose her… she’s like family and she’s such a good person. She said she’s a little irked at her husband because he did this without consulting her, but it’s done now and they have to deal with it. She’s not happy tho, and neither are the kids. When I dropped Kyan off this morning, her 8 yr old asked me if I cried last night and I told him I did. He said he did too and he doesn’t want to move. He’s the one with autism… and I wonder how it’s going to affect him. His therapists are here, his doctors are here and they’ve done so great with him. I’d never have known he’s severely autistic if she hadn’t told me. He’s also one of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen.

She gave me the name and number of the only provider she’s willing to recommend, but who’s going to have space NOW? School will be out in a month and I’m afraid everyone has already been booked up for the summer. Even if this woman can make space (she did ask her to try to make space for Kyan and a couple of other children who she loves), it’s going to be another big change for Kyan. He’s been so happy there, he’s blossomed, he LOVES her son and he’s not old enough to understand.

How do you explain to a 2-yr old that he’s losing his best friend and his entire weekday world? This sucks. It just sucks.

I didn’t sleep well last night, thinking about things. I got up this morning wishing I could run thru Starbucks on the way to work, but since Kyan’s sperm donor quit his job and I’m no longer getting child support, that’s not an option. Or it wasn’t, until I found a little package that arrived for me from a sweet friend. It was an early Mother’s Day present and it had yummy Heath bars, cute magnets, and the one thing I really needed right then… a Starbucks gift card. What a great thing to find this morning! It definitely made me feel better! I hope tho, that things will settle down for me. Honestly, I can take up up up or down down down, but this up and down has got to stop!

*sigh* Maybe once I find a new babysitter? We’re really going to miss her.

Friday, May 04, 2007


I just posted - I know, don't have a heart attack - 2 posts in one day! But I just looked at my blog and I saw that Kimberly posted my interview questions! A while back, in her blog she posted about interviewing each other and I volunteered because, well, if you read my other post you know ideas have been hard to come by. So, without futher adiou...

1. Who was your very first teen idol crush?
I'd say Rick Springfield, but I wasn't a teen yet and he was past that. How 'bout I go with Wil Wheaton? First, I can link to HIS blog (does this make me creepy stalker girl now?), and second he was such a cutie! I like me some geek-boys and ya gotta like one who's proud of it. I used to know the entire dialogue to Stand By Me, and my walls were covered with posters of Wil, Corey and Corey. *sigh* To be young and silly again!

2. What is your biggest regret?
Way to ask the tough questions! I honestly think my biggest regret is not finishing my teaching degree. I'd be making WAY more money now with summers off to spend with the kiddos when they're out of school.

3. Your greatest hope?
My greatest hope is that my boys grow up to be good people. I want them to both earn their college degrees, find good jobs, someone to love who will love them and treat them well, and to have all the healthy children they desire. The biggest thing that I can hope for is my boys to have long, happy, healthy lives and to be able to handle whatever life throws their way.

4. If you could do one totally selfish thing, with no consequences, what would it be?
Ooh... temptation! I only get one, huh? I think I'd hop a plane to Paris. I'd shop on credit (no consequences includes no CC debt, right?), visit the Eifel tower, wander around the city taking in all the sights, visiting museums and just relaxing and enjoying myself. Oh, and I might have an affair with a hot Frenchman.

5. Who would win in a fight, Betty or Wilma?
Wilma. Betty is such a wus.

Okay, now if anyone read this and would like to be interviewed, post in the comments with a link to your blog and I'll think up some interview questions for you!

To blog or not to blog

That is the question. I don't even feel guilty anymore about going full weeks without a post because I honestly don't think anyone even reads my inane ramblings. Plus, I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I obviously CAN'T blog about so I'm having trouble even coming up with cute/weird/funny stuff to post about the boys.

The whole thing is beginning to seem rather pointless and self serving. And that's silly because it kind of feels like a chore, when I think about it. Which, honestly, I often don't.

But on the other hand, I like having this blog, I like the connections I've gotten from other bloggers and I love when someone I enjoy reading links to me. And honestly, why wouldn't I enjoy the "all about me" factor?

I guess if I did one of those blogs where you do a theme every day it might not seem as daunting as trying to come up with an idea that's not assinine, but I'm not a joiner and most of those have a main blog that generates the ideas. So not for me.

Maybe rather than quitting altogether, and let's be honest - if I wanted to quit I'd have done it rather than endlessly talking about it - it's time for a major revamp. Now that's an idea I can get behind. A project!!

Bears thinking about. Guess we'll find out, won't we!