Hi!

We have been so busy lately. It's amazing how these things go... a week with nothing special, then a month of insanity, then a week of nothing. Of course about half the time I think we have a nothing week there's something I've forgotten.

*sigh*

ANyway... trick or treat is this week! Just me and Kyan again, I think. I dunno. He's going as Mario this year. I got him a Luigi costume too, which he wears to play in, but he wants Mario for trick or treat. I should find someone to go with us so it'll be more fun for him.

Jaben's gotten too big to trick or treat, so I don't know what he's going to do. We don't really get a lot of kids on our street, so maybe he'll go pass out candy with a friend? I can't really see him staying home, but maybe? Pretty sure he's wearing a costume for school, but don't know what.

Hopefully tho I'll have some good pics of Ky in his costume cuz it's adorable!!

Be safe all!

Hi!

Kids are out of school today but I am at work! Um... posting to my blog.

So yeah.

I had Kyan at the ER last Sat night with a scary-high temperature. After 14 yrs I'm not a panicky mom, so trust me when I say this fever was BAD. They gave him a rapid strep test, which came back negative, and sent us home. He seemed fine Sunday so I thought nothing of it and sent him to school Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday evening, around 9:30pm the hospital called to tell me his "real" strep test was back from the lab and it was positive.

Oh. Oh no. I sent a kindergartner to school with strep for TWO DAYS! Oops. With an older kid I might not have stressed too much, but 5 yr olds are gross. They spit, snot, and drool all over the place and each other. So we probably just gave his entire kindergarten class strep. Yay.

He's on antibiotics now and is no longer contagious. He better not be - he's at a classmate's house for a play date today while school is out. Of course that boy has already been exposed, so it's too late anyway.

We're going to have a fun weekend anyway. Kyan's last soccer game is tomorrow morning, then we have a birthday party in the afternoon. Tomorrow evening, I'm going out with some girls for some much-needed fun. Haunted house, followed by some drinks - should be a LOT of fun! Sunday we're going to visit my best friend from when I was a kid, and her family. I haven't seen her in just over 15 yrs (can't believe it's been that long!) so it's going to be a really neat afternoon.

Little over 2.5 hrs left to go until the start of my crazy-busy-fun weekend!

Ugh

Toooo fulllll.

I am way too full of veggie lasagna. Yes, low-fat veggie lasagna! That was dinner last night and it was soooo good I had it for lunch again today. But oh my I feel full. I'm pretty sure I'm within decent limits (really need to get back on the calorie counting!) but I'm not liking this overly full feeling. I will say tho, I think it's due in part to my jeans being just a touch snug. They're generally fine, but after sitting in them for hours on end, they are feeling a bit restrictive. Ugh. In say, 2 weeks (?) they should be fully comfortable for an entire day. So I can live with it for now.

One thing about the increased veggies? How 'bout some TMI gas? Oh yeah, that's FUN! I'll be stopping at Walgreens after work for some GasX or similar. This? Isn't pretty. Good thing I have my own office!

Last night's exercise was a poorly executed attempt at kickboxing, followed by 10 mins of Latin dance after I gave up. I didn't work as long as I'd planned, but I did work hard and end up sweaty and glowing. I consider that a victory! And a lesson -- from now on I stick to the dance-style workouts. I really enjoy those and have a better chance of sticking to exercise I enjoy.

Onward and downward!

Not enough sleep = too much food

Is it just me or does everyone eat more when they're overtired? Saturday night Kyan had an extremely high fever and had to go to the ER in the middle of the night. We were there for hours and subsequently didn't get much sleep. He's fine, btw.

But Sunday, we slept until 10:30, obviously didn't go to church (couldn't take a sick kid anyway) and spent the (warm, beautiful) day in the house. He was supposed to be resting, but since the Motrin finally brought his temp down and he was feeling better, he wanted to play. He was very, very sad he couldn't go outside, and I was tired, crabby, and overfed. It was not a pleasant way to spend the day. It ended well, with all 3 of us sprawled out on my bed watching the Simpsons, so it could've been worse, but it also could've been tons better.

One day of being derailed isn't anything to get too upset about. It's going to happen and I need to get my mind set that even when it does happen I'm not going to let it completely derail me. One bad day I can live with, a lifetime of bad days will kill me. So I guess I keep plugging along.

Tonight is Kyan's drama class at 4, then we're having veggie lasagna for dinner. It's a new recipe and I can't wait to try it! I'm pretty psyched! I love this whole foods/veggie rich way of eating! I'm hoping to go on a bike ride since this isn't church cleaning night, but if not I'll do some sort of workout -- Zumba, tai chi, or find another good aerobic work out. I need to check my OnDemand channels and see what I can do for free! IF the dog will let me. :-S

So, it's Monday, and while the weekend didn't go quite how I hoped, today is a new day starting a new week. Begin again!

Eatin' plants gives ya energy

Whoda thunk it? Eatin' plants gives ya energy! And boy is that important to me these days! I'm in terrible shape -- horrible. Well, unless you consider round. But that's "a" shape, not "in" shape. Which is what I want to be.

So I eat plants. And have started trying Zumba, and tai chi. I just grabbed some youtube videos and use those, but it still counts in that whole "eat less - move more" thing. So it's good. Plus, I can feel that my muscles have worked! Not sore, not pain, but worked. This is very, very good.

See, the past 2 years have been very rough and I've allowed myself to sort of give up on taking care of me. Eating too much crap, not exercising enough, letting how stressed I feel decide what I eat and how I behave rather than kicking stress in the teeth and fighting back. The time has come to FIGHT BACK! Because seriously, when your 5-yr old pats your belly and says, "Mommy, we have to get some weight off you," you have a problem.

But not for long! I'm reclaiming my former healthy, exercising, not-eating-everything-in-sight ways and will get back to myself sooner, rather than later. W00T!

And since it's been a while, gonna post pics of my boys. I can't believe how big Kyan is:




and how GROWN UP Jaben is. How did he get to be a high school freshman??



Those? Are 2 very good reasons to take better care of myself. I want to be around to drive them crazy for a very, very long time!

Prog rock = addicting!

Everyone's got that one band or two they love that most people haven't heard of, don't they? For me, it comes down to a few progressive musicians or bands that aren't very well known, but should be. Most people don't understand why prog is it's own genre, but if you do some googling, you should be able to figure that out pretty quickly! I just want to point out 2 of my favorites because I've been listening to them pretty much constantly recently.

First, the incomprable Kevin Gilbert. Go here to check him out. He is AMAZING! The world lost a musical genius when Kevin passed. My 14-yr old son loves him too and that makes me SO proud! I knew the kid had good taste... just like his mama! :-)

Today I'm listening to Spock's Beard. Also awesome. Still around, however with a different lead singer than they had when I first heard them. Check it out, totally worth it.

Now, I completely understand that neither of these may be your cup of tea, and that's cool. The world would be a colorless place if we all loved the same things. I just wanted to highlight the music that makes me happy.

Maybe not

So much for taking advantage of that child vacation. I worked, got some stuff accomplished around the house, and missed my boys. That's it. No big epiphanies, no soul searching, just.... hanging out, missing my kids.

At some point I know I'm going to have to figure out life without them, but Kyan is only 5 so I don't feel any real pressing need. Right now, this is my life. I work, sure, I do a few things "on the side" to keep my hand in with creative graphics (job does NOT require creativity!), but first and foremost I'm the mom.

And you know what? That's okay. It's my choice. I could do other things, I'm sure. People tell me I need to do some things for myself and I'm sure I do sometimes. But it's not priority for me. My priorities lie with my boys, and because that's what I choose - they're what I choose - it's all good.

I do reserve the right to change my thoughts on this at any time, but right at this moment, I'm cool with where things are. For now, let's just go with that.

Child vacation!

I should be excited about my boys going on a trip with their grandma to visit my sister and her family in Delaware. And I am, for them. For me? Not so much. I had to stay here and work, which isn't a big deal, it's just that I'm going to miss them.

I don't know how to come home to an empty house, without hugs. Or go to bed without goodnight kisses and deep inhales of sweaty little boy neck. I don't know how to go a whole day without saying, "Did you brush your teeth?" or "Did you put on deodorant?" I don't know how to go about the day-to-day not acting as Mom.

But I guess that's something I need to learn. Sure Kyan's only 5, but they're not going to be at home with me forever. Maybe it's time for me to begin to discover again who I am besides mommy. Mommy is my favorite title tho, so that's tough. However, I think it'd be best for me and for them if I take this week to begin to figure that out. Or begin figuring out how to figure that out. Or something.

Anyway, the boys are gone for a week and I'm on my own. And the only plans I've made are to grab some Chinese takeout on the way home and then get some groceries.

Exciting, right?

She lives!

I abandoned this blog some time ago, but this week I came back and read thru the entries and was amazed at how many of my boys stories I'd forgotten! What an amazing thing to have!! Kyan was 14 mos old when I began blogging and is now 5 and ready to start kindergarten! Jaben was 9 - now 14 and heading into his first year of high school! So much time has gone by, so many things have happened... so many stories undocumented.

A lot of things have changed since I stopped blogging semi-regularly, probably too many to write about right now. However, since I've decided to try to start up again (w00t!), some of those things will probably be mentioned. So, that's good.

I want to change the name of the blog and will be thinking about that, as well as the design, because neither of those things really feel right to me at this point. But! More stories to come, hopefully more humorous than not.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkk!!! And hopefully will eventually gain some readers. Cuz don't nobody come here no more.

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I know, I know, I never post anymore and nobody is reading, but just in case anyone is, please visit Examiner.com where I am the NEW High-Tech Kids Examiner! That's right! Read, subscribe, hang out -- but come see me at Examiner.com!! Articles will be posted a few times a week, so check back often! Ideas and suggestions are always welcome!

So much

Yep, I'm still around. Sort of. And I have so much to say here, but much of it I'm not quite ready to say yet. Things I don't want to talk about but at some point will need to. I'm just not there yet and don't know if I'll ever be able to share them here. So many things to think about and changes I know I need to make. To be more open, to make sure everyone I love really knows I love them, to show them their value, to write love on all their arms.

Just know, I'm okay, the boys are okay, we're hanging in all right. 2 weeks until Jaben goes to Lead America and I hope he's fine. I'll be worried the whole week, so the kid needs to find his cell before then.

Today we're going to see UP and later I'll be working on an ad for my uncle and aunt's business. Beyond that? We'll see. It's the weekend, I don't have to have it all planned out.

Watch this video

Yeah, I know, I don't write much these days. Sorry. I just kind of thought everyone should see this video.

It snowed a little...

Or a lot. I actually took a snow day today, which I never do. It's interesting and would be nice and relaxing if my boys could get along. But they can't. *sigh*

Anyway, snow pics.

Point out the porch....

No? Yeah, it's under there somewhere. Hang on and you'll see in a pic further down.

Back driveway. And yes, in some places the snow is halfway up the fence.

This truck got stuck driving down our street. And I'm SO nice, I had to take a photo. But I feel for the guy. Really. I do.

Shot of our street from another direction. It actually doesn't look too bad from this angle.

Front steps again. This time you can actually see the porch and get an idea of just HOW MUCH darn snow we have!

I know a lot of people got a lot of snow, so I'm sure this doesn't look like much to some, but it really is a lot of snow and I'm soooooo ready for spring!! Bring on my WARM weather!

Some birthday pics

Gotta show off the birthday boy and post pics of the Thomas cake I made. Now, you CAN look at the Thomas cake, just don't look at the face.

Enjoy!

Kyan on his real birthday with the "throw together" cake.

The Thomas cake.

Kyan and the Thomas cake. Love the facial expression!

Thomas cake from another angle.

Thomas cake and the "extra" cake. I had too much sheet cake and tons of leftover colored frosting, so I used it up by making the second cake! Yeah, too much cake in my house now...

Boys playing at Kyan's party!

Kyan blowin out the candle on Thomas.

Kids all playing in the playroom during the party.

Kyan and Xavier.

Kyan and Alli.

This is all I'm going to post. There's more, but seriously, you can only look at so many of someone else's kid's birthday pictures. Kyan had a GREAT birthday - on the real day and on party day. An d that's all that matters.

Well, that and not having to do this for him again for another YEAR!!

Happy Birthday Kyan!!

So Kyan is 4 today. Doesn't seem possible. I could swear I just had him, but here we are, 4 yrs down the road and he's an awesome kid. He chose dinner tonight and we're having hot dogs, mac n cheese, and happy face french fries. Oh, and cake. Color chip cake with color chip frosting and Lightning McQueens and Maters on one side. Cuz he decorated it. I need to take a picture, it's THAT cute!

Ugh, I'm tired so this isn't shaping into much of a sappy Birthday post. Sorry bud... I'll make it up to you, I promise.

44

I haven't watched it yet but I heard it on the radio.

What a great day for America!!

YES WE DID!!

Let's all support and pray for the Obama family.

It is stupid cold out

It is currently -6 outside.

Ohio has officially frozen over.

Someone please come rescue me and take me somewhere tropical because I can't take much more of this!!!!!

More pics

There are more below this post, so keep reading. :-)

One really good shot of Jaben's orchestra concert. Handsome in his tie, isn't he?

I had some fun making Christmas cookies. I call this one Frankenstein's cookie...

Jaben, showing off his cookies...

Kyan showing of his cookies...

And now for some decorations, starting with the tree...

Followed by the stocking wall. This was my mom's really cool idea for using the old stockings. Also known as "The wall of stockings past."

Mantle, where the stockings would be hung if I'd gotten to it sooner...

One of the gingerbread houses we made. I think this one was Kyan's.

And since Jaben got so much face time, here's Kyan enjoying all that snow I hate.

I know I've got a ton more pictures, but this is all I have the patience to upload for now. I am going to change my profile pic to one I LOVE of Kyan, so be sure to look. But otherwise this is it for now.

While watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

I own that movie and I haven't watched it, but I do every time it's on tv. Wonder why that is?

Thanks for the comments on the NY post. Especially to those who said I was strong. That was cool, because I don't feel strong. I'm pretty sure most people don't. But it's nice to have other people think I am. I appreciate that very much.

So things are moving along. I got a great compliment via email from one of our reps at work. She sent it to my boss who (horrors!!) sent it out to my entire team. When I realized that was what he'd done I wanted to crawl under my desk. Seriously. I mean, it's nice (hell, it ROCKS) to get a compliment like that, to have people not only think you rock but let your boss know they think you rock. But I could've done without the entire team being brought in on it. Un-com-fortable!! Nice, but ugh. KWIM?

We've had a million feet of snow this week. I am sooo sick of the snow. I know, I live in OH and it's only January. I can't get sick of the snow yet, but I AM. I. So. AM.

I've been sitting here for a while trying to upload photos, but blogger just cut me off. So I'm going to post some here, and the next post will have more. I have TONS I haven't posted. I realize that post will be the top post, but oh well. At least the pics will be on here.

First off, Jaben's play, A Christmas Carol.

There are also curtain call pics, but I'll try to get them in the next post. Or not. Really, the shots of him as Bob Marley (above, with Jacob Marley) and the 2 above as a ghost (furthest to the right, with the sleeves cuz he had a quick-change) are the coolest pics, so that may be it.

Photos to be continued...

Happy New Year

Being the first day of a new year, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a new post.

But I'm not going to do the usual "year in review" thing. I mean really, it's been done everywhere. Not that I'm not thinking about those things... there were some big changes this year. A long stint of unemployment, having to take a job not-exactly in my field 36 miles away, my mother and sister also losing their jobs... things were especially rough this year. But there were some things that needed to happen as well. That backbone I've grown (or am growing, actually) has been a necessary change, learning to let go of the negative, removing myself from some toxicity... Granted, some of these things could've been handled better, but that's one of the things about being human -- you must always be learning and growing. And I'm doing that, working on it anyway. I've learned some things about how it's okay to make scary changes (I'm looking at you, Stacy) and how much I admire that ability in other people. That's one I'd like to develop myself.

And in the year to come, I want to work on forgiveness. For others, for myself. I'm harder on myself than anyone else could ever be and I need to learn to forgive me. But I need to learn to forgive others too. That's hard for me because so many times people seem to behave as if it's as easy as saying, "I forgive you," but it just isn't. It's got to be felt, and if I can't feel it I can't do it. So I need to let myself feel it. And for particular people... at least one of which isn't going to be so easy. But it's necessary - for me - because I don't want to live in anger. So I'll work on that. I have to, because even tho I don't want to go into details I will say it's something I'll be dealing with, even in absentia, the rest of my life. And I don't want to carry around all that negative energy. That's one of the reasons I needed to release some toxicity last year... I can't carry around the negative energy anymore. So.

So we look forward.

To really learning my new job and seeing what I can gain from it. It's a good strong company, which is amazing in this economy so it's not as if I need to be concerned with having to find another job soon. But I also know it's not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. So what can I learn from it, what can I take away from it, and what wonderful things will come from it?

To Jaben's trip to DC for LeadAmerica. We're working on finding sponsors because it's NOT cheap, but it's a wonderful thing for him, even already. He was nominated by his favorite teacher and it's already done wonders for his self-image. We've got a pretty good-sized payment due in 14 days that I don't know how I'm going to make, but we'll figure it out somehow. Because this is important and even tho I'm basically poor, I want the best for him. And for now, this is what's best. Anyone want to make a donation to a deserving kid? ;-)

To Kyan, growing and changing and seeing who he's becoming. He'll be 4 in 21 days (where did the time go??) and he's turning into an interesting kid. You can see just looking into his eyes how mischievious he is - he's such a little stinker! I love that about him. He's smart, he's stubborn, and he's so, so loving. Kissy, huggy. But boy o boy has he got stinky breath! Yeah, we gotta look into that this year.

To mom and Kel, doing their school things, figuring out what they want to do now. Seeing what will make them happy and watching them face new challenges. I can't wait to see this. It's going to be cool.

Ugh, okay, this did turn out to be one of those usual new year posts. Blech. Oh well, I tried.

More to come in the new year. I'm thinking about big changes around here, still playing with the idea of moving to a new address... but haven't made a solid decision yet. I'll let anyone who's reading (echo... echo... echo...) know if and when it happens. For now, have a great new year!