Roller Coaster Day

Things have been so up and down the past couple of days! This weekend, the boys were difficult, to say the least. Kyan was very whiney and seemed overtired a lot of the time, but wouldn’t take good naps. Jaben’s jobs this weekend were to mow the lawn, clean his bedroom and take out the trash. That’s it.

It took him 2 days to take out the trash.

It took him 2 days to mow the lawn.

His bedroom is still not finished.

He was mouthy and disrespectful to me; he talked back to his grandmother (BIG no no!!), and he took his frustrations out on his little brother – who is not old enough to understand. He was just not my sweet Jabe this weekend and I refuse to raise a brat.

So, I took away his tv, his video game, his mp3 player, and his comic books. He’s not allowed to watch tv or play on the computer. I even took away Boy Scouts this week.

Because of all this, my Monday didn’t start out so hot. But then after school, Jaben called and told me he got Student of the Month at school! I’m so proud of him! With all the problems he’s had at school, this is major! He’s had a huge turn around this year and his teachers have made sure to tell me how great he’s doing – but this is a wonderful confirmation! I’ve already put the cheesy “Student of the Month” window sticker on my car and I think it looks great there. I LOVE IT! Oh, and now he gets to go to Boy Scouts this week.

And then, more bad news. I found out my babysitter’s husband got transferred. And I am heartbroken. He was asked what it would take for him to move, so he picked a huge amount of money and a few other things and they found out yesterday that the company agreed. He has to be there Monday! In North Carolina!! She and the kids will be following soon… so I’ve got a month to find a new provider and refigure all my summer plans for the boys. Jaben was going to be there 2 days a week, and Kyan… I’m still crying and I can’t stop. Not continually, but y’know.

It’s just that he LOVES her. And she really loves him. And her 2-yr old and Kyan are like brothers. She came over last night to talk, because she wouldn’t tell me this kind of thing over the phone or when I’m rushing to work, thank God, and watching them play together just about broke my heart. I LIKE her. I hate to lose her… she’s like family and she’s such a good person. She said she’s a little irked at her husband because he did this without consulting her, but it’s done now and they have to deal with it. She’s not happy tho, and neither are the kids. When I dropped Kyan off this morning, her 8 yr old asked me if I cried last night and I told him I did. He said he did too and he doesn’t want to move. He’s the one with autism… and I wonder how it’s going to affect him. His therapists are here, his doctors are here and they’ve done so great with him. I’d never have known he’s severely autistic if she hadn’t told me. He’s also one of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen.

She gave me the name and number of the only provider she’s willing to recommend, but who’s going to have space NOW? School will be out in a month and I’m afraid everyone has already been booked up for the summer. Even if this woman can make space (she did ask her to try to make space for Kyan and a couple of other children who she loves), it’s going to be another big change for Kyan. He’s been so happy there, he’s blossomed, he LOVES her son and he’s not old enough to understand.

How do you explain to a 2-yr old that he’s losing his best friend and his entire weekday world? This sucks. It just sucks.

I didn’t sleep well last night, thinking about things. I got up this morning wishing I could run thru Starbucks on the way to work, but since Kyan’s sperm donor quit his job and I’m no longer getting child support, that’s not an option. Or it wasn’t, until I found a little package that arrived for me from a sweet friend. It was an early Mother’s Day present and it had yummy Heath bars, cute magnets, and the one thing I really needed right then… a Starbucks gift card. What a great thing to find this morning! It definitely made me feel better! I hope tho, that things will settle down for me. Honestly, I can take up up up or down down down, but this up and down has got to stop!

*sigh* Maybe once I find a new babysitter? We’re really going to miss her.