So we locked the baby in the car…
Um, yeah. No, that’s not a typo. We locked the baby in the car. On Tuesday. At the gas station.
I am so proud.
In retrospect, it’s funny, but at the time – not so much.
See, I’d had a bad day to begin with. The whole day was one thing after another, very busy – crazy, actually. And when I got home I was hit with 2 shots of bad news and my mood was not so hot. But, we had to go to the Cub Scout Christmas party, so we loaded into the car and ran to get gas on the way.
And that’s when it happened. That’s when we locked the baby in the car.
I pulled up to the pumps and, leaving the keys dangling in the ignition, commented to Jaben as I got out that it was so cold that the window washer liquid was frozen. Then I went to the back part of the car and started pumping the gas, not thinking a thing about it. Jaben knows he needs to stay in the car with Kyan if we’re getting gas when it’s dark out because Ky freaks if he doesn’t. He’s 22 mos old and he doesn’t like to be strapped into a car seat, in a dark car, alone at night. Makes sense.
But Jabe wanted to see the frozen windshield fluid, so he got out and ran around the car to peek. At this point I was mildly irritated (Kyan was screeching “Day-Bin! Day-Bin!” from his seat) because I really didn’t want him getting out, but I figured it would only be for a minute. So, Jaben looked at the frozen stuff and exclaimed, “Wow! It’s really cold! I want Kyan to see this!” and proceeded to try to pull open the car door.
* click *
NOT the sound I wanted to hear… my stomach hit my shoes and I said, “Jaben, did you lock the car??”
“Um, no… I’ll go try my door.”
* click *
“Oh you’re so kidding me.”
By this time the tank was full, so I grabbed my receipt and started trying doors. All locked. Keys in ignition, baby in the back – strapped into his seat.
Greeeeeaaaat.
Fortunately, it wasn’t 90 degrees out in August, I’d had the heat running before I shut off the car, so Kyan was probably more comfortable than we were. Now I just needed someone to go get the spare key. So, out came the cell phone and we called Aunt Keli. I have never been so impatient for someone to pick up the phone in my life. Ever.
Nothin’ like locking your almost-2-yr-old in the car, in December, in Ohio.
After I talked to Kel, who said she’d come, she called back and said my mom was on the way and would bring the key. So all we had to do was keep Kyan calm until she got there. And keep me from killing Jaben. Keeping Kyan calm seemed much more do-able at this point.
So, we stood at the windows and talked to him, made funny faces, etc, until Grandma arrived..
Tap, tap, tap… “Kyyyy-Kyyyyyyy… hi baby!! Mommy will get you in a minute!! Are you in the car? Is it warm?”
“Day-Ben! Mommy! I tuck!”
“Jaben – talk to him!!”
“Kyyyyan! Lookit me!” (makes faces in the glass)
“Momma – I TUCK!!”
“Oh baby, grandma’s coming…. We’ll get you out in just a minute. Mommy promises.”
Yeah, a good ten minutes of this. Add it to your list of “fun things to do at a gas station on a Tuesday night in December.”
When Grandma arrived (smirking, as I would’ve been doing myself), I unlocked the doors and hugged my poor, brave, surprisingly calm baby.
The whole drama lasted probably 15 minutes from the time Jaben jumped out of the car to the time my mom arrived, but believe me, it seemed MUCH longer. I keep catching myself giggling now tho… I am now one of those moms with a “when we locked the kid in the car” stories…
So – if anyone is still reading this infrequently updated blog… tell me your “When I locked the kid(s) in the car story. Then we can all share the “Mother of the year” award!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
A little slow on the uptake
Yeah, I might be a little slow to post this but I just have to.
Did you NOT know that Britney Spears is a skank? I mean seriously, did she surprise you? Yeah, me either. It really was only a matter of time before she self-destructed and oh boy is she skipping towards kaboom now! What kind of MOTHER shows her cootchie to the world? We all know it wasn't an accident (I almost typed assident but thought that'd be over-the-top....... but maybe not), so what was she trying to prove? That she's nasty? Got it. That she doesn't care what people think? Got that too.
But hey, listen up, Brit -- you can lose your children for certain kinds of behavior and if you want to keep them with you, hug them when the urge hits, watch them grow, give them the fairytale childhood your kind of money can provide -- then grow the fuck up and act like their MOTHER. You can no longer behave like Paris Hilton's bitch... you have babies depending on you and you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Imagine how you'd feel if that were your mother.......... that's how your boys are going to feel one day. Straighten up girl -- it's not about you anymore.
'Nuff said.
Okay, moving on. I heard all about the Clay Aiken/Kelley Rippa thing (yeah yeah, yesterdays news... bear with me) where he put his hand over her mouth. And? First of all, have y'all seen the picture of her doing just that to Regis? Okay then, Rippa needs to get over herself. And Rosie O'Donnell going off like it was a gay thing? Pul-eeze. It's not all about gays, it had nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not Aiken is gay (and who cares anyway? it's HIS business)... Rosie (who I used to love, BTW) needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut.
*shakes head* But that's not why I started talking about this. I read on a message board one woman calling Clay putting his hand over Kelley's mouth abuse. Read that again. He put his hand over her mouth and it was abuse. Let that sink in a bit. Now, did you see the clip? Think about that clip and think about the word abuse. Was that abuse? Not by a long shot, people. It probably wasn't the most polite or hygenic thing he could've done (but as we've all seen, I'm sure, Kelley is guilty of the same thing) but it most certainly was not abusive. Abuse hurts someone... mentally, physically, and likely both. A guest host on a stupid morning talk show making a rude, inappropriate mistake is NOT abuse. Statements like that - his hand over her mouth was abuse - are one of the reasons so many people do not take real abuse seriously. How can you, in good conscience, compare that to the experience of someone who is hit, someone whose character, intelligence, whose very sense of self is wiped out every day by the words of someone who is supposed to love them? Is that even remotely comprable to the bruises on a child's face? To the broken bones of a mother (or father) who takes it themselves to spare their children? To.................
Well, there are a million sad, scary, sickening examples. But one thing is certain. What Clay Aiken did is in no way abuse. It was kind of gross, it was inappropriate, it was definitely rude. But abusive? That kind of comparison keeps true abuse from being recognized and the person who said it should spend a little time at an abused women's and children's shelter to learn the truth. She should be ashamed of herself.
Okay, sorry about the rant. Sometimes these things just gotta come out.
On a more upbeat note, things are going well with our play, a lot of ads sold for the program and I have a lot of work ahead of me to get it ready to copy by Tuesday. But it'll get done, no problem. To those who know us IRL, it's Dec 17 at 2pm - don't forget!! Jaben is going to be AWESOME!! Can't wait!
Did you NOT know that Britney Spears is a skank? I mean seriously, did she surprise you? Yeah, me either. It really was only a matter of time before she self-destructed and oh boy is she skipping towards kaboom now! What kind of MOTHER shows her cootchie to the world? We all know it wasn't an accident (I almost typed assident but thought that'd be over-the-top....... but maybe not), so what was she trying to prove? That she's nasty? Got it. That she doesn't care what people think? Got that too.
But hey, listen up, Brit -- you can lose your children for certain kinds of behavior and if you want to keep them with you, hug them when the urge hits, watch them grow, give them the fairytale childhood your kind of money can provide -- then grow the fuck up and act like their MOTHER. You can no longer behave like Paris Hilton's bitch... you have babies depending on you and you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Imagine how you'd feel if that were your mother.......... that's how your boys are going to feel one day. Straighten up girl -- it's not about you anymore.
'Nuff said.
Okay, moving on. I heard all about the Clay Aiken/Kelley Rippa thing (yeah yeah, yesterdays news... bear with me) where he put his hand over her mouth. And? First of all, have y'all seen the picture of her doing just that to Regis? Okay then, Rippa needs to get over herself. And Rosie O'Donnell going off like it was a gay thing? Pul-eeze. It's not all about gays, it had nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not Aiken is gay (and who cares anyway? it's HIS business)... Rosie (who I used to love, BTW) needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut.
*shakes head* But that's not why I started talking about this. I read on a message board one woman calling Clay putting his hand over Kelley's mouth abuse. Read that again. He put his hand over her mouth and it was abuse. Let that sink in a bit. Now, did you see the clip? Think about that clip and think about the word abuse. Was that abuse? Not by a long shot, people. It probably wasn't the most polite or hygenic thing he could've done (but as we've all seen, I'm sure, Kelley is guilty of the same thing) but it most certainly was not abusive. Abuse hurts someone... mentally, physically, and likely both. A guest host on a stupid morning talk show making a rude, inappropriate mistake is NOT abuse. Statements like that - his hand over her mouth was abuse - are one of the reasons so many people do not take real abuse seriously. How can you, in good conscience, compare that to the experience of someone who is hit, someone whose character, intelligence, whose very sense of self is wiped out every day by the words of someone who is supposed to love them? Is that even remotely comprable to the bruises on a child's face? To the broken bones of a mother (or father) who takes it themselves to spare their children? To.................
Well, there are a million sad, scary, sickening examples. But one thing is certain. What Clay Aiken did is in no way abuse. It was kind of gross, it was inappropriate, it was definitely rude. But abusive? That kind of comparison keeps true abuse from being recognized and the person who said it should spend a little time at an abused women's and children's shelter to learn the truth. She should be ashamed of herself.
Okay, sorry about the rant. Sometimes these things just gotta come out.
On a more upbeat note, things are going well with our play, a lot of ads sold for the program and I have a lot of work ahead of me to get it ready to copy by Tuesday. But it'll get done, no problem. To those who know us IRL, it's Dec 17 at 2pm - don't forget!! Jaben is going to be AWESOME!! Can't wait!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Oh it's so un-American!
What?? An American who doesn't post a "what I'm thankful for" post on Thanksgiving??
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's almost a requirement of being an American blogger, but I just didn't want to. I haven't blogged in a good week, I haven't posted to my board in a week (again ladies, I'm sorry), I don't think I've even answered emails. I've kind of been cyber-hybernating. Cybernating? Heh... that's kind of cute, actually. I just haven't felt up to it. Too many things stressing me out, too much to complain about and honestly, who wants to hear it?
Not me, that's for sure.
Don't get me wrong, I AM thankful. I've got a million blessings -- 2 beautiful, healthy boys, a loving, supportive family, warm home, my car, my job, far too much food on the table and friends who e-Bay for me because even tho I think e-Bay is the devil I can still use it as long as it's not me who's bidding. But sometimes you've just got to take a break, take stock of why you're doing what you're doing. I work because I love my job and I need to support my kids. If I didn't love my job and had enough money so that I didn't have to work, would I? Probably. I can't see myself doing the whole SAHM thing. Ugh -- so not for me. In a dreamworld or for a week, maybe. But forever? I just couldn't. It's not in me.
I am afraid tho that I might have that opportunity forced on me sometime soon, and that stresses me out more than anything. It's no secret that the company I work for isn't exactly financially stable. I'm not sure why, I don't know much about the incoming and outgoing cash flow, but I do know that we've been hanging on by a thread for a while, and from the small things I've heard lately I wonder if I will be looking for a new job in the new year. It's scary. Graphic designers aren't in high demand around here (too many people have photoshop and think that makes them a designer -- sorry guys, it doesn't), and I need a certain level of income to get by. It's not a high level by any means... but it's still necessary.
Not only do I love my job, but the perks would be very difficult to duplicate elsewhere. My boss is awesome. She doesn't realize just how great she is, but she is. I work 4-day weeks... who's going to let me do that? I can talk to principals and teachers and even my mother on the phone when and if I need to without raising eyebrows. That probably wouldn't go over too well anywhere else. So very many reasons to be grateful for where I am. And yet, I don't know how much longer I will have it.
Scary.
So yeah, much, much stress. Not just work, but this week it's been weighing on my mind quite heavily.
I am thankful... more than I can say. But sometimes I just wish for simpler... and maybe a shower without someone banging on the door screaming "Mooommmmmyyyyyyyy!!!!"
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's almost a requirement of being an American blogger, but I just didn't want to. I haven't blogged in a good week, I haven't posted to my board in a week (again ladies, I'm sorry), I don't think I've even answered emails. I've kind of been cyber-hybernating. Cybernating? Heh... that's kind of cute, actually. I just haven't felt up to it. Too many things stressing me out, too much to complain about and honestly, who wants to hear it?
Not me, that's for sure.
Don't get me wrong, I AM thankful. I've got a million blessings -- 2 beautiful, healthy boys, a loving, supportive family, warm home, my car, my job, far too much food on the table and friends who e-Bay for me because even tho I think e-Bay is the devil I can still use it as long as it's not me who's bidding. But sometimes you've just got to take a break, take stock of why you're doing what you're doing. I work because I love my job and I need to support my kids. If I didn't love my job and had enough money so that I didn't have to work, would I? Probably. I can't see myself doing the whole SAHM thing. Ugh -- so not for me. In a dreamworld or for a week, maybe. But forever? I just couldn't. It's not in me.
I am afraid tho that I might have that opportunity forced on me sometime soon, and that stresses me out more than anything. It's no secret that the company I work for isn't exactly financially stable. I'm not sure why, I don't know much about the incoming and outgoing cash flow, but I do know that we've been hanging on by a thread for a while, and from the small things I've heard lately I wonder if I will be looking for a new job in the new year. It's scary. Graphic designers aren't in high demand around here (too many people have photoshop and think that makes them a designer -- sorry guys, it doesn't), and I need a certain level of income to get by. It's not a high level by any means... but it's still necessary.
Not only do I love my job, but the perks would be very difficult to duplicate elsewhere. My boss is awesome. She doesn't realize just how great she is, but she is. I work 4-day weeks... who's going to let me do that? I can talk to principals and teachers and even my mother on the phone when and if I need to without raising eyebrows. That probably wouldn't go over too well anywhere else. So very many reasons to be grateful for where I am. And yet, I don't know how much longer I will have it.
Scary.
So yeah, much, much stress. Not just work, but this week it's been weighing on my mind quite heavily.
I am thankful... more than I can say. But sometimes I just wish for simpler... and maybe a shower without someone banging on the door screaming "Mooommmmmyyyyyyyy!!!!"
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Needles to say…
Yeah, I saw that somewhere earlier today and it made me giggle so I had to share.
Okay, so the school is going to let the little punk get away with beating on my kid. Apparently so are the police. Not happy. When they finally spoke to the police, the mother told them that Jaben had hit them first – even tho nobody saw it – and chasing him up the road, knocking him down and kicking him and beating him was all in self defense. And the police in this amazing town seem to be stupid enough to believe it. And the school? Remember that zero tolerance policy? Um, yeah, that’s just for looks, I guess.
Interesting tho, turns out this isn’t the first time the police have been called on these children. A couple of months ago, they were throwing rocks at some other kids (little kids) who live up the street. Their mother came out and told the kids to leave, and they told her to fuck off. For real. So she said if they didn’t leave, she was going to call the police. They told her to fuck off again and that they could do what they wanted. So she called the police and they went to talk to the parents. Once the police left, the dad went down to this woman’s house and screamed at her that his kids could do whatever the fuck they wanted and she couldn’t stop them.
Yeah, they’re nuts.
Legal action (backed by at least 4 families on our street) pending. Not that the cop ever called me back – but that’s fine, I can get the police report without his help, and we’ll be getting a lawyer. Several families on the block would LOVE to take legal action against these nuts. Not sure what we can accomplish this way, but if the police won’t protect our children from these delinquents and their oh-so-proud parents, then we’ll do it ourselves.
Oh, and I AM enrolling Jaben in a martial arts class too. He’s excited – he’s wanted to do it for a while. Now I just have to find him a good school. And the hitting ban has been lifted. If he’s hit, he’s to hit back and make sure to inflict damage. Remember – we TRIED to do things the right way, but look where that gets ya. So… if he has to fight, then fight he will.
And they DAMN WELL better not try to suspend him.
Okay, so the school is going to let the little punk get away with beating on my kid. Apparently so are the police. Not happy. When they finally spoke to the police, the mother told them that Jaben had hit them first – even tho nobody saw it – and chasing him up the road, knocking him down and kicking him and beating him was all in self defense. And the police in this amazing town seem to be stupid enough to believe it. And the school? Remember that zero tolerance policy? Um, yeah, that’s just for looks, I guess.
Interesting tho, turns out this isn’t the first time the police have been called on these children. A couple of months ago, they were throwing rocks at some other kids (little kids) who live up the street. Their mother came out and told the kids to leave, and they told her to fuck off. For real. So she said if they didn’t leave, she was going to call the police. They told her to fuck off again and that they could do what they wanted. So she called the police and they went to talk to the parents. Once the police left, the dad went down to this woman’s house and screamed at her that his kids could do whatever the fuck they wanted and she couldn’t stop them.
Yeah, they’re nuts.
Legal action (backed by at least 4 families on our street) pending. Not that the cop ever called me back – but that’s fine, I can get the police report without his help, and we’ll be getting a lawyer. Several families on the block would LOVE to take legal action against these nuts. Not sure what we can accomplish this way, but if the police won’t protect our children from these delinquents and their oh-so-proud parents, then we’ll do it ourselves.
Oh, and I AM enrolling Jaben in a martial arts class too. He’s excited – he’s wanted to do it for a while. Now I just have to find him a good school. And the hitting ban has been lifted. If he’s hit, he’s to hit back and make sure to inflict damage. Remember – we TRIED to do things the right way, but look where that gets ya. So… if he has to fight, then fight he will.
And they DAMN WELL better not try to suspend him.
Friday, November 10, 2006
It never ends, does it?
I haven't posted about my nut-job neighbors before, but now I have to. They are a couple with 2 kids. The children belong to the mother, they are one year apart and have 2 different fathers. Not judging, just stating. The guy is the stepfather -- I think. I don't even know if they're actually married.
Anyway, they rent the house next door. We were actually happy when they moved in because the kids are close to Jaben's age -- the boy is 11 and the girl, I think, is 10. They're both in Jabe's grade at school. Unfortunately, they've been nothing but trouble since the day they moved in. They have broken my swing set, the boy has taken one of KYAN'S toys (remember he's 11) and took it into his house. When I went to get it, the mother verbally attacked me. I mean really - an 11 yr old taking a baby's toys is OKAY with her? Explains a lot. Every time Jaben walks out the door they scream "fag" at him... nice kids, huh? The boy sits in the tree in his backyard when Jaben is outside and yells obscenities at him. All this is absolutely bad enough, but recently it has become physically violent.
Last week, the boy shoved Jaben into the bushes and hit him enough to leave bruises up his side. Not a lot I could do about it... no witnesses and like I said, the mom is nuts. And the step dad? Like, 6'4" and scary with a temper. NOT the kind of parents you approach. They probably taught him to act like this. The girl has verbally attacked Jaben at school, but no teachers saw it so she got away with it.
It all ends today.
Today, they jumped Jaben on the way home from school. The two of them together pushed him down, and while the girl kicked him, the boy walloped him with his backpack. Jaben got up and ran away, but they chased him and did it again. Normally there wouldn't be a whole lot I could do because it'd be their word against his. Except today someone saw them! THANK GOD! Justin's (Jabe's friend) grandmother was watching out the window for the boys to come home and saw the whole thing!!! She called me to tell me what she'd seen, and said she was absolutely willing to talk to the principal as well as the police!! Finally - an adult witness!!!
So, rather than go to my parent/teacher conference, we went to see the principal. Seems like they take a pretty tough line on this -- zero tolerance policy in the schools (we'll see HOW zero), and he encouraged me to go see the police. I told him that was our next stop. He wanted the name of the officer we talked to when we were finished because, he said, the police and the school work together on these things. Good to know.
Next stop -- the police station.
Now, let me be the first to say, I really didn't want it to come to this, and if there was any other way to protect my child and just make it stop, I'd have done it. But there wasn't, and there isn't. And now I have a witness to prove what they've been doing to him. So, we talked to an officer. I gave him the grandmother's name and phone number and told him she said she would tell them what she saw, so while Jaben was writing out his statement, he went and called her and she and Justin came right down. She told the officer what she saw and gave him a written statement as well.
He said they'd go talk to the neighbors and get their side (which I expected) and then come Monday, they'd talk to the school and everything would be submitted to the prosecutors office thru juvenile court. Fortunately it shouldn't be too rough since we've got a credible adult witness and it wouldn't be just the kids' words against each other. I don't know what happens to the kids, what the punishment is, but I really wish it was that they had to move out of the neighborhood, because I'm afraid at this point that's all that would work.
So, while Jaben's okay, things are ugly and I'm afraid that once the neighbors find out that we've pressed charges against their little darlings, it's going to get uglier. I have no shame for telling the officer that I'm afraid of the step father. For that matter, the mother could take me, easy. I'm not a fighter and I haven't raised my kids to be either. That's just not the way we do things. I hope they just accept what their kids have done and deal with it, but there's always a chance, knowing how they are, that they'll somehow blame US.
NOT the way to start the weekend.
Anyway, they rent the house next door. We were actually happy when they moved in because the kids are close to Jaben's age -- the boy is 11 and the girl, I think, is 10. They're both in Jabe's grade at school. Unfortunately, they've been nothing but trouble since the day they moved in. They have broken my swing set, the boy has taken one of KYAN'S toys (remember he's 11) and took it into his house. When I went to get it, the mother verbally attacked me. I mean really - an 11 yr old taking a baby's toys is OKAY with her? Explains a lot. Every time Jaben walks out the door they scream "fag" at him... nice kids, huh? The boy sits in the tree in his backyard when Jaben is outside and yells obscenities at him. All this is absolutely bad enough, but recently it has become physically violent.
Last week, the boy shoved Jaben into the bushes and hit him enough to leave bruises up his side. Not a lot I could do about it... no witnesses and like I said, the mom is nuts. And the step dad? Like, 6'4" and scary with a temper. NOT the kind of parents you approach. They probably taught him to act like this. The girl has verbally attacked Jaben at school, but no teachers saw it so she got away with it.
It all ends today.
Today, they jumped Jaben on the way home from school. The two of them together pushed him down, and while the girl kicked him, the boy walloped him with his backpack. Jaben got up and ran away, but they chased him and did it again. Normally there wouldn't be a whole lot I could do because it'd be their word against his. Except today someone saw them! THANK GOD! Justin's (Jabe's friend) grandmother was watching out the window for the boys to come home and saw the whole thing!!! She called me to tell me what she'd seen, and said she was absolutely willing to talk to the principal as well as the police!! Finally - an adult witness!!!
So, rather than go to my parent/teacher conference, we went to see the principal. Seems like they take a pretty tough line on this -- zero tolerance policy in the schools (we'll see HOW zero), and he encouraged me to go see the police. I told him that was our next stop. He wanted the name of the officer we talked to when we were finished because, he said, the police and the school work together on these things. Good to know.
Next stop -- the police station.
Now, let me be the first to say, I really didn't want it to come to this, and if there was any other way to protect my child and just make it stop, I'd have done it. But there wasn't, and there isn't. And now I have a witness to prove what they've been doing to him. So, we talked to an officer. I gave him the grandmother's name and phone number and told him she said she would tell them what she saw, so while Jaben was writing out his statement, he went and called her and she and Justin came right down. She told the officer what she saw and gave him a written statement as well.
He said they'd go talk to the neighbors and get their side (which I expected) and then come Monday, they'd talk to the school and everything would be submitted to the prosecutors office thru juvenile court. Fortunately it shouldn't be too rough since we've got a credible adult witness and it wouldn't be just the kids' words against each other. I don't know what happens to the kids, what the punishment is, but I really wish it was that they had to move out of the neighborhood, because I'm afraid at this point that's all that would work.
So, while Jaben's okay, things are ugly and I'm afraid that once the neighbors find out that we've pressed charges against their little darlings, it's going to get uglier. I have no shame for telling the officer that I'm afraid of the step father. For that matter, the mother could take me, easy. I'm not a fighter and I haven't raised my kids to be either. That's just not the way we do things. I hope they just accept what their kids have done and deal with it, but there's always a chance, knowing how they are, that they'll somehow blame US.
NOT the way to start the weekend.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Happy (belated) Halloween!
So trick or treat was last night. My guys were a cute little green dragon and a scary, bloody insane clown. Guess which kid was which? LOL! The dragon was in NO mood for it last night tho so I got no good pics of him. I have one from the Cub party last week so at least that's something. The little dragon and I went for about 1/2 hr, then the big, scary clown and my sister went for the next hour while we went home (he screamed the WHOLE WAY) and handed out candy. Ky kept getting into the candy bucket and every time he did I'd tell him he had to say "trick or treat!" He fell for it for a while and then would give me this "look" and just fall back on his usual "peas?"
Jaben and Keli had a great time together tho. I swear Kel is just an overgrown kid! And we've got enough candy to last for months!!!
On a less-than-fun note, it seems that this ADD thing is one step forward and 2 steps back. I got a detention notice from Jaben's teacher. Generally, when they forget supplies they lose 5 pts. But according to the detention slip, she says losing 5 pts doesn't seem to phase him so she's giving him detention.
My first thought upon reading this was "Huh?" That makes absolutely no sense to me. I can't see how sitting thru detention will help him remember his stuff. So, I may have put my foot in it, but I signed the slip and sent a note along with it saying that I'm not sure detention for this is productive for my son, and I think other strategies need to be implemented. I told her I thought I needed to speak to the counselor again and see what can be done since testing thru the school hasn't begun yet and the Dr doesn't want to treat until we get him set at school. I just don't think detention is the answer.
So I called the school, and the counselor isn't in today but they said they'd call him at the school he's at today and have him call me. There's just got to be something we can do to get Jabe thru until we can get the darn testing done!! This kid went thru this in 3rd grade and it got to the point where he was begging to be home schooled... I can see this year heading in the same direction and I absolutely refuse to allow it to happen again. So, something different has to be done. He's a good boy, very sensitive and all this over-the-top "discipline" BS is doing is scaring him and making him feel bad about himself -- exactly the opposite of what I, at least, want to accomplish.
***update from later in the day***
I did hear back from the counselor and he agrees with me that detention for forgetting something is counter-productive in Jaben's case and said that he will speak with the teacher when he's at the school tomorrow to see what they can come up with, strategy-wise. He also said that he will talk to Jaben to see how he's doing, where he feels he needs help and maybe to give him suggestions on how to make things work a little better for him.
He is giving the ADD testing over to the other counselor tho, and that kinda sux. Because I feel comfortable with him, but the other counselor is at the school more, so he feels she should handle it. I understand, even if I’m not thrilled. I LIKE him, he “gets it.” Gosh, before I hung up he commented on how my involvement and support goes a long way toward helping Jaben – and that just blew me away! I’m not used to getting that from the schools.
I should hear soon about the first meeting with the teachers and psychologist. I’m not excited about that part… not knowing what to expect and so much negativity over the years has made me leery. But if we can get thru that first step, maybe we can get my boy some much-needed help and treatment this year before we end up with a repeat of 3rd grade.
Just for the record… ADD can bite me.
Jaben and Keli had a great time together tho. I swear Kel is just an overgrown kid! And we've got enough candy to last for months!!!
On a less-than-fun note, it seems that this ADD thing is one step forward and 2 steps back. I got a detention notice from Jaben's teacher. Generally, when they forget supplies they lose 5 pts. But according to the detention slip, she says losing 5 pts doesn't seem to phase him so she's giving him detention.
My first thought upon reading this was "Huh?" That makes absolutely no sense to me. I can't see how sitting thru detention will help him remember his stuff. So, I may have put my foot in it, but I signed the slip and sent a note along with it saying that I'm not sure detention for this is productive for my son, and I think other strategies need to be implemented. I told her I thought I needed to speak to the counselor again and see what can be done since testing thru the school hasn't begun yet and the Dr doesn't want to treat until we get him set at school. I just don't think detention is the answer.
So I called the school, and the counselor isn't in today but they said they'd call him at the school he's at today and have him call me. There's just got to be something we can do to get Jabe thru until we can get the darn testing done!! This kid went thru this in 3rd grade and it got to the point where he was begging to be home schooled... I can see this year heading in the same direction and I absolutely refuse to allow it to happen again. So, something different has to be done. He's a good boy, very sensitive and all this over-the-top "discipline" BS is doing is scaring him and making him feel bad about himself -- exactly the opposite of what I, at least, want to accomplish.
***update from later in the day***
I did hear back from the counselor and he agrees with me that detention for forgetting something is counter-productive in Jaben's case and said that he will speak with the teacher when he's at the school tomorrow to see what they can come up with, strategy-wise. He also said that he will talk to Jaben to see how he's doing, where he feels he needs help and maybe to give him suggestions on how to make things work a little better for him.
He is giving the ADD testing over to the other counselor tho, and that kinda sux. Because I feel comfortable with him, but the other counselor is at the school more, so he feels she should handle it. I understand, even if I’m not thrilled. I LIKE him, he “gets it.” Gosh, before I hung up he commented on how my involvement and support goes a long way toward helping Jaben – and that just blew me away! I’m not used to getting that from the schools.
I should hear soon about the first meeting with the teachers and psychologist. I’m not excited about that part… not knowing what to expect and so much negativity over the years has made me leery. But if we can get thru that first step, maybe we can get my boy some much-needed help and treatment this year before we end up with a repeat of 3rd grade.
Just for the record… ADD can bite me.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Doodlebops Live!
Yesterday my boys and I got to see the hottest show this season – among the toddler set! We were lucky enough to go see the Doodlebops Live!
They played in Cleveland yesterday and the boys and I were lucky enough to catch the 4:00 show. Our seats weren’t as good as I’d have liked, but we could see really well, and weren’t in the nosebleed section so we definitely can’t complain.
I haven’t seen many kids’ shows live, Blues Clues and Sesame Street when Jaben was little, so I don’t have much experience with these shows, but as far as I’m concerned, Doodlebops is totally worth the money! The show begins with Busdriver Bob coming on the stage for a “pre-show party” where they show other cartoon show commercials (think Handy Manny and Little Einsteins – Kyan screamed and giggled when they showed his beloved ‘Nine-nines) and pumped up the crowd. I knew beforehand that it was the REAL Doodlebops, but I’m pretty sure that was NOT Busdriver Bob. Unless he had a cold. And 15 extra lbs. Bob is Ky’s favorite, but being 1–3/4 I don’t think he noticed.
After Bob was finished, DeeDee, Rooney and Moe came on and it was so much like the tv show! Moe did his usual hiding trick, and in between songs they played and visited all the familiar places. We saw the Doodlebops clubhouse, the recording studio, and they even had a strange little version of the Doodlebops bus! That was pretty funny, actually!
At one point when DeeDee was singing, she brought some little kids on the stage – which in itself is sweet and cute, but before she went back to her seat one little girl ran over and gave DeeDee a hug and said something to her. DeeDee replied, right into her mike, “Ohhh… thank you! You’re very pretty too!” and giggled. It was absolutely the sweetest moment of the show.
All in all, it was such a great time! I love it when things go well and the boys and I are able to have a good time together. I wasn’t sure how Kyan would do (he threw a gigantic fit before we left and in trying to get him out the door I forgot my camera!!) but he loved it! He clapped and cheered and danced on my lap the whole time – it was great! And Jaben… lol… I never would’ve thought that at 10 he could be so into a kids’ show – let alone a concert! But he was great! He enjoyed every second of it! My mom sent some money to buy each boy a souvenir, and Jaben chose this weird rubber “Moe hair” thing to wear on his head – and he wore it the whole time. He loves Moe – and I really wish I’d had my camera because it was soooo funny to see him wearing it!! When I left this morning one of our pumpkins was wearing the “Moe wig.”
I really should get a picture of that!!
The only downer about the show was souvenirs. They were ridiculously expensive!! I’m sorry - $15 for a program of a KIDS SHOW?? Um… no, sorry, not gonna happen. And the little blinking, twirling light-up things? $25. I kid you not -- $25 for one of those little suckers. I wanted to get the boys one SO BAD, but that would’ve been $50 and it ain’t possible. Even if it was possible, it ain’t likely. Imagine the profit margin on those things!!!! Over 75% per unit, easily. I paid enough for the tickets, as long as my boys got something to take home (and $15 for a Moe wig is insane enough – Ky got a more reasonably priced $8 ‘Bops sippy cup) there’s no way I was paying that much for that stuff.
So that kinda sucked.
But for a few hours with your kids, and a fun time dancing, shouting and singing, the Doodlebops Live! is definitely worth the price of admission!! Just be prepared to say NO! to a few overpriced souvenirs that your kids (and possibly YOU) are gonna want.
I wanna go again!!!!!!
They played in Cleveland yesterday and the boys and I were lucky enough to catch the 4:00 show. Our seats weren’t as good as I’d have liked, but we could see really well, and weren’t in the nosebleed section so we definitely can’t complain.
I haven’t seen many kids’ shows live, Blues Clues and Sesame Street when Jaben was little, so I don’t have much experience with these shows, but as far as I’m concerned, Doodlebops is totally worth the money! The show begins with Busdriver Bob coming on the stage for a “pre-show party” where they show other cartoon show commercials (think Handy Manny and Little Einsteins – Kyan screamed and giggled when they showed his beloved ‘Nine-nines) and pumped up the crowd. I knew beforehand that it was the REAL Doodlebops, but I’m pretty sure that was NOT Busdriver Bob. Unless he had a cold. And 15 extra lbs. Bob is Ky’s favorite, but being 1–3/4 I don’t think he noticed.
After Bob was finished, DeeDee, Rooney and Moe came on and it was so much like the tv show! Moe did his usual hiding trick, and in between songs they played and visited all the familiar places. We saw the Doodlebops clubhouse, the recording studio, and they even had a strange little version of the Doodlebops bus! That was pretty funny, actually!
At one point when DeeDee was singing, she brought some little kids on the stage – which in itself is sweet and cute, but before she went back to her seat one little girl ran over and gave DeeDee a hug and said something to her. DeeDee replied, right into her mike, “Ohhh… thank you! You’re very pretty too!” and giggled. It was absolutely the sweetest moment of the show.
All in all, it was such a great time! I love it when things go well and the boys and I are able to have a good time together. I wasn’t sure how Kyan would do (he threw a gigantic fit before we left and in trying to get him out the door I forgot my camera!!) but he loved it! He clapped and cheered and danced on my lap the whole time – it was great! And Jaben… lol… I never would’ve thought that at 10 he could be so into a kids’ show – let alone a concert! But he was great! He enjoyed every second of it! My mom sent some money to buy each boy a souvenir, and Jaben chose this weird rubber “Moe hair” thing to wear on his head – and he wore it the whole time. He loves Moe – and I really wish I’d had my camera because it was soooo funny to see him wearing it!! When I left this morning one of our pumpkins was wearing the “Moe wig.”
I really should get a picture of that!!
The only downer about the show was souvenirs. They were ridiculously expensive!! I’m sorry - $15 for a program of a KIDS SHOW?? Um… no, sorry, not gonna happen. And the little blinking, twirling light-up things? $25. I kid you not -- $25 for one of those little suckers. I wanted to get the boys one SO BAD, but that would’ve been $50 and it ain’t possible. Even if it was possible, it ain’t likely. Imagine the profit margin on those things!!!! Over 75% per unit, easily. I paid enough for the tickets, as long as my boys got something to take home (and $15 for a Moe wig is insane enough – Ky got a more reasonably priced $8 ‘Bops sippy cup) there’s no way I was paying that much for that stuff.
So that kinda sucked.
But for a few hours with your kids, and a fun time dancing, shouting and singing, the Doodlebops Live! is definitely worth the price of admission!! Just be prepared to say NO! to a few overpriced souvenirs that your kids (and possibly YOU) are gonna want.
I wanna go again!!!!!!
Monday, October 23, 2006
I kinda suck at this sometimes
Sorry, sometimes I get involved in life and the blog doesn’t get updated. For a week. Um, yeah. I’m not sure I’m very good at this. I’m sure I’d do a much better job if there was a way to make money at it… heh… but apparently there isn’t. At least not for me. Cuz I’m not very good at it. Unless you want to send donations. Um…. yeah, that’s it.
I had a meeting with Jabe’s school principal this week. On Friday, actually. The story is that on Weds Jabe cheated on a test a little. I say a little cuz he didn’t have a cheat sheet, didn’t write the answers on the bottom of his shoes, or have an earpiece with a kid in the tree outside the window feeding him the answers. What he did was when they were grading the tests – their own tests – he changed one of his answers. Not that that’s right to do, and yes, it’s cheating, but seriously, who hasn’t?? I was a * good * kid and I did it.
They gave him detention. Great, fine, well deserved. He got in trouble at home. Great, fine, well deserved.
He got taken to the principal’s office on Thurs where all 3 of his teachers and the principal sat around him to talk to him about it.
I don’t know about y’all, but that one seems like a bit of overkill to me. Not to mention that it scared the crap out of a basically good, if troubled kid. But, being who I am, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not, for a second, was I ever going to believe that bringing a child to the principal’s office and basically surrounding him with all the adults in charge of his day to confront him on an admittedly small cheat, is ever going to be okay with me. But, I needed to hear their side of the story. Especially after the meltdown he had over his homework that night – the details of which I am not at liberty to share, at his request.
On Friday, I had planned to call Principal, but instead found that Jaben was missing a notebook he needed and since I was bringing the notebook to him anyway, decided to drop in on Principal and have a chat. I told Principal I knew about what happened and I do agree that Jabe’s actions warranted detention and a trip to the Principal, but I wasn’t sure of the point of having all the teachers there and sitting around him like that, so, could he please tell me his side of the story?
The school’s take on this, from the mouth of Principal himself, is that they decided to bring Jaben in, with all the teachers, to show him that they were a team, working for his benefit, and that they were all supporting him. They talked about his grades from all his classes – which are all good, btw – and told him he didn’t need to cheat like that. Rah rah rah?
While this may very well be a case of right idea, executed badly, I’m not sure I forgive them. I can’t imagine thinking about this and coming to the conclusion that a meeting of this nature wouldn’t be absolutely terrifying to a 10-yr old boy. And based on Principal’s lack of eye contact, I can only conclude that he knew he was scaring my boy. I mean really, the other kids went to their 3rd period class, and Jaben was told to stay with the teacher. She then took him to the principal’s office where he and Jaben’s other 2 teachers were waiting. And this was * not * meant to scare this child?
There was something I didn’t like about Principal to begin with, and picking on a child with Jaben’s issues just makes me think he’s a bully. He might act like a great guy, and when I walked out of that meeting I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was off about him, but I think I’ve figured it out… he strikes me as an overgrown bully. Course I may be a bit sensitive because this is my child who is now afraid of his principal and teachers, but seriously, how is this * not* scary?
Ugh. Just ugh.
On the bright side, the last football game of the season was yesterday (we froze AND lost… good times), Cub Scouts will be starting on Tuesday, and the boys are officially moved into the room they are now sharing (even if Ky isn’t sleeping there yet). Thankfully we shouldn’t be as busy now, but I think I’d better reserve the right to have life get in the way of blogging about life every now and again.
I had a meeting with Jabe’s school principal this week. On Friday, actually. The story is that on Weds Jabe cheated on a test a little. I say a little cuz he didn’t have a cheat sheet, didn’t write the answers on the bottom of his shoes, or have an earpiece with a kid in the tree outside the window feeding him the answers. What he did was when they were grading the tests – their own tests – he changed one of his answers. Not that that’s right to do, and yes, it’s cheating, but seriously, who hasn’t?? I was a * good * kid and I did it.
They gave him detention. Great, fine, well deserved. He got in trouble at home. Great, fine, well deserved.
He got taken to the principal’s office on Thurs where all 3 of his teachers and the principal sat around him to talk to him about it.
I don’t know about y’all, but that one seems like a bit of overkill to me. Not to mention that it scared the crap out of a basically good, if troubled kid. But, being who I am, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not, for a second, was I ever going to believe that bringing a child to the principal’s office and basically surrounding him with all the adults in charge of his day to confront him on an admittedly small cheat, is ever going to be okay with me. But, I needed to hear their side of the story. Especially after the meltdown he had over his homework that night – the details of which I am not at liberty to share, at his request.
On Friday, I had planned to call Principal, but instead found that Jaben was missing a notebook he needed and since I was bringing the notebook to him anyway, decided to drop in on Principal and have a chat. I told Principal I knew about what happened and I do agree that Jabe’s actions warranted detention and a trip to the Principal, but I wasn’t sure of the point of having all the teachers there and sitting around him like that, so, could he please tell me his side of the story?
The school’s take on this, from the mouth of Principal himself, is that they decided to bring Jaben in, with all the teachers, to show him that they were a team, working for his benefit, and that they were all supporting him. They talked about his grades from all his classes – which are all good, btw – and told him he didn’t need to cheat like that. Rah rah rah?
While this may very well be a case of right idea, executed badly, I’m not sure I forgive them. I can’t imagine thinking about this and coming to the conclusion that a meeting of this nature wouldn’t be absolutely terrifying to a 10-yr old boy. And based on Principal’s lack of eye contact, I can only conclude that he knew he was scaring my boy. I mean really, the other kids went to their 3rd period class, and Jaben was told to stay with the teacher. She then took him to the principal’s office where he and Jaben’s other 2 teachers were waiting. And this was * not * meant to scare this child?
There was something I didn’t like about Principal to begin with, and picking on a child with Jaben’s issues just makes me think he’s a bully. He might act like a great guy, and when I walked out of that meeting I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was off about him, but I think I’ve figured it out… he strikes me as an overgrown bully. Course I may be a bit sensitive because this is my child who is now afraid of his principal and teachers, but seriously, how is this * not* scary?
Ugh. Just ugh.
On the bright side, the last football game of the season was yesterday (we froze AND lost… good times), Cub Scouts will be starting on Tuesday, and the boys are officially moved into the room they are now sharing (even if Ky isn’t sleeping there yet). Thankfully we shouldn’t be as busy now, but I think I’d better reserve the right to have life get in the way of blogging about life every now and again.
Monday, October 16, 2006
PEE!!!!
Just thought I'd announce that Kyan went pee-pee on the potty tonight!!!! I'm so excited! He'd been sitting on it but not really doing much, but tonight he did it!! YAY KYAN!!!
Let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Saturday morning
I read a lot of blogs. The ones on the sidebar are the ones I read the most, but occasionally, when I have time, I skim the blogrolls of other blogs or follow links to read new things. Today I found myself directed to Her Bad Mother. I've read her a bit, but not often. No reason for that, she's interesting and well written, but that's not the point. I mention her because of this post. Go read it, I'll wait.
All done? Excellent.
Right now, my 10-yr old is playing video games. My 1-1/2 yr old is crying. This is not an unusual situation in my house. The crying, that is. Kyan cries more than any child I've ever known. Not only does he cry a lot, but he doesn't sleep well. He cries in his sleep, he thrashes, he moans. He is firmly in the grip of toddler temper tantrums, he fights diaper changes to the point where I've started using pull-ups some of the time so I don't have to fight him into a clean diaper -- I can wiggle him into pull-ups much easier... while he's standing, and I don't get kicked. Oh and it's probably topping out at I'd guess 40 degrees outside right now and he just handed me his pajama top. And then screamed at me to put it on. And then screamed when I tried to. Spirited? You betcha. Ask whoever the person was at the Chinese restaurant we went to last night how spirited he is. I'm sure 1/2 (at least) his food ended up on the floor. And that was with me catching most of it. Does he know that's not okay? I like to think so, but who knows? He's one.
I can be very blase about this right now. It's morning, I actually slept some last night, I've got a million and one things to do today and am putting it off even tho I'm trying like hell to be cool about how much I can actually accomplish today. Clean house? No problem. Jaben needs a new winter coat because Mother Nature decided fall was expendable this year? Got it covered. Need Halloween costumes for both boys? Not to worry. And the Halloween decorations, play lines, cookies that are begging to be baked, switched bedrooms desperately needing organized and laundry needing to be done so nobody has to go nekkid in this frigid Ohio weather? Got it, got it, and got it. No problem.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
Motherhood is HARD. It just is. And the more kids and people you add into the mix, the harder it gets. I have nothing but the utmost respect for moms of many. I do not know how they do it. Single moms of 3 or more? Saints.
A spirited child - just one - can make you feel like the worst mom alive. I have a lot of days when I can't imagine how I'm going to get thru this, how I'm going to do it, what I did wrong that he can't tolerate a diaper change or won't eat a thing for me even tho I know his little tummy is growling. I've wondered - a lot - what I was thinking, raising 2 boys by myself. I know I didn't make the decision to have them by myself, but it's worked out that I'm raising them. Family help is invaluable and I don't know what I'd do without them. I couldn't. Plain and simple. My mother is amazing and we'd be lost without her. We tell her, but I don't think she really realizes how much we appreciate all she does.
And to do it 100%, completely on my own? That would be a nightmare.
Everyone gets overwhelmed with it sometimes. You gotta. It's the nature of the job. If you don't fumble or get frustrated sometimes then you're not really all that involved. You can't be perfect when your emotions are involved, and I can't think of anything more emotional than being a mom. It's hard, it sux, it's sleep deprivation and the entire world of these little people resting on your shoulders, it's oh-God-what-am-I-doing confusing, awful, puke-soaked, wouldn't change it for the world, morning hugs and bedtime kisses, amazing, rewarding and wonderful all at the same time.
And especially now, with 2 - one who's spirited and the other who has ADD - the hardest thing I've ever done.
But I love my boys with all my heart and soul and I would never, ever change anything that brought them to me for anything ever.
So Her Bad Mother... you're not alone. Sometimes we're all bad mothers. Sometimes we're all lost and wondering if anyone else feels this way or if we really just suck. We do suck. We're the best sucky moms there are. And your daughter is going to be amazing - even more amazing - as she grows. And you're the luckiest woman in the world because you get to watch the whole thing.
I promise you, from one bad mother to another, it gets better and it is worth every second.
All done? Excellent.
Right now, my 10-yr old is playing video games. My 1-1/2 yr old is crying. This is not an unusual situation in my house. The crying, that is. Kyan cries more than any child I've ever known. Not only does he cry a lot, but he doesn't sleep well. He cries in his sleep, he thrashes, he moans. He is firmly in the grip of toddler temper tantrums, he fights diaper changes to the point where I've started using pull-ups some of the time so I don't have to fight him into a clean diaper -- I can wiggle him into pull-ups much easier... while he's standing, and I don't get kicked. Oh and it's probably topping out at I'd guess 40 degrees outside right now and he just handed me his pajama top. And then screamed at me to put it on. And then screamed when I tried to. Spirited? You betcha. Ask whoever the person was at the Chinese restaurant we went to last night how spirited he is. I'm sure 1/2 (at least) his food ended up on the floor. And that was with me catching most of it. Does he know that's not okay? I like to think so, but who knows? He's one.
I can be very blase about this right now. It's morning, I actually slept some last night, I've got a million and one things to do today and am putting it off even tho I'm trying like hell to be cool about how much I can actually accomplish today. Clean house? No problem. Jaben needs a new winter coat because Mother Nature decided fall was expendable this year? Got it covered. Need Halloween costumes for both boys? Not to worry. And the Halloween decorations, play lines, cookies that are begging to be baked, switched bedrooms desperately needing organized and laundry needing to be done so nobody has to go nekkid in this frigid Ohio weather? Got it, got it, and got it. No problem.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
Motherhood is HARD. It just is. And the more kids and people you add into the mix, the harder it gets. I have nothing but the utmost respect for moms of many. I do not know how they do it. Single moms of 3 or more? Saints.
A spirited child - just one - can make you feel like the worst mom alive. I have a lot of days when I can't imagine how I'm going to get thru this, how I'm going to do it, what I did wrong that he can't tolerate a diaper change or won't eat a thing for me even tho I know his little tummy is growling. I've wondered - a lot - what I was thinking, raising 2 boys by myself. I know I didn't make the decision to have them by myself, but it's worked out that I'm raising them. Family help is invaluable and I don't know what I'd do without them. I couldn't. Plain and simple. My mother is amazing and we'd be lost without her. We tell her, but I don't think she really realizes how much we appreciate all she does.
And to do it 100%, completely on my own? That would be a nightmare.
Everyone gets overwhelmed with it sometimes. You gotta. It's the nature of the job. If you don't fumble or get frustrated sometimes then you're not really all that involved. You can't be perfect when your emotions are involved, and I can't think of anything more emotional than being a mom. It's hard, it sux, it's sleep deprivation and the entire world of these little people resting on your shoulders, it's oh-God-what-am-I-doing confusing, awful, puke-soaked, wouldn't change it for the world, morning hugs and bedtime kisses, amazing, rewarding and wonderful all at the same time.
And especially now, with 2 - one who's spirited and the other who has ADD - the hardest thing I've ever done.
But I love my boys with all my heart and soul and I would never, ever change anything that brought them to me for anything ever.
So Her Bad Mother... you're not alone. Sometimes we're all bad mothers. Sometimes we're all lost and wondering if anyone else feels this way or if we really just suck. We do suck. We're the best sucky moms there are. And your daughter is going to be amazing - even more amazing - as she grows. And you're the luckiest woman in the world because you get to watch the whole thing.
I promise you, from one bad mother to another, it gets better and it is worth every second.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Updates updates everywhere!
First – regarding the football incident. My sister went to practice with Jabe last night to see how things were handled and she said they did a great job – they actually impressed her. The head of the league separated Jaben’s team from the other boys and talked to them about how that kind of behavior is not acceptable, they don’t approve, etc – the coach and the parents involved all got suspended! Granted the season is almost over, but still. The coach involved apologized to the boys too! I wanted that, but didn’t expect it so it’s great that he did that. One of the boys whose parents (turns out it was his GRANDPARENTS) were involved had to quit the team – his parents didn’t want anything further to do with it. I feel 2 ways about that… on one hand, I don’t blame them, it wasn’t even me and I was very upset and still cannot respect the coach, apology or no. On the other hand… the boy doesn’t get to play. The adults in his life can’t behave decently so he has to pay for it? That stinks. That really stinks.
So. There’s that.
I should've posted this yesterday, but didn't get a chance - too much going on. I heard from Jaben’s doctor Monday and he thinks Jabe definitely has ADD! I know, weird cause for celebration, but I feel like we’re finally getting somewhere – like okay, now we can do something to make things easier for him. We have another appt with the doc on the 27th and will discuss strategy then, and the possibility of medication. I’m not sure about the medication… not that I’m personally so much opposed, but neither of us need to be hearing about how bad it is and how it’s a cop-out and what it does to kids, etc etc etc. I don’t need to hear that and I don’t want to. If he goes on meds it’ll be a low dose anyway – and I trust our Dr. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t still see him. Gee, I’m not defensive or anything, am I? ;-)
So anyway, they said to call the school and get the ball rolling to set up testing for him thru them. I did that Tuesday morning – talked to the counselor (who happens to be a friend of the Dr! bonus!) and he said he’d start things moving as soon as we hung up the phone. So yay! As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we can get this done, the better. Whatever will help my boy.
And so now have a letter from the doctor formally requesting testing for Jaben from the school! I didn’t have that when I talked to the counselor yesterday, so I emailed him today to let him know and that I can make sure he gets a copy if he would like. I think he should have one – we’ll see when I hear back. I don’t know what’s going to go on with testing, etc, but we’ll find out as we go along. I ventured over to an ADD/ADHD message board and got some good responses from people whose kids have used meds. Most were positive, even tho pretty much all of them needed a lot of adjustments before they found the right thing. I’m sure it’s like that with a lot of meds tho. I know meds are what Jaben wants… I think he figures he can take a pill and be able to concentrate just like everyone else. I’m not sure it’s so simple, but I’m willing to look at our options. I still think some kind of therapy would be useful even tho I keep hearing it does little for inattentive-type ADD. It can’t hurt to at least look into it. He has been informed, involved and had a say in every step of this process, and will continue to have a say since this is his mind and his life we’re talking about. He’s a very, very bright boy (even as his biased mom I know this to be true) and out of respect for that, and how hard he’s been trying, I owe it to him to let him have a say in how he’s treated. That’s not to say he’ll have the final say, but we’ll talk about it and decide together.
So. There’s that.
Oh and one little thing that’s not really an update but has me sitting in shock today… one of my favorite customers (one of our biggest accounts!!) came by today to tell us he’s been fired!! He’s been with them for 15 yrs and he’s really made it what it is. We’re not sure right now if we’ll be able to hang onto the account… we’ll see. I just can’t believe they fired him – and if we lose this account because of that we might be in big trouble. So yikes!!
Think good thoughts on that one. I think we’ll probably keep the account… but you never know. Whether we do or not, we’re going to miss our friend.
So. There’s that.
I should've posted this yesterday, but didn't get a chance - too much going on. I heard from Jaben’s doctor Monday and he thinks Jabe definitely has ADD! I know, weird cause for celebration, but I feel like we’re finally getting somewhere – like okay, now we can do something to make things easier for him. We have another appt with the doc on the 27th and will discuss strategy then, and the possibility of medication. I’m not sure about the medication… not that I’m personally so much opposed, but neither of us need to be hearing about how bad it is and how it’s a cop-out and what it does to kids, etc etc etc. I don’t need to hear that and I don’t want to. If he goes on meds it’ll be a low dose anyway – and I trust our Dr. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t still see him. Gee, I’m not defensive or anything, am I? ;-)
So anyway, they said to call the school and get the ball rolling to set up testing for him thru them. I did that Tuesday morning – talked to the counselor (who happens to be a friend of the Dr! bonus!) and he said he’d start things moving as soon as we hung up the phone. So yay! As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we can get this done, the better. Whatever will help my boy.
And so now have a letter from the doctor formally requesting testing for Jaben from the school! I didn’t have that when I talked to the counselor yesterday, so I emailed him today to let him know and that I can make sure he gets a copy if he would like. I think he should have one – we’ll see when I hear back. I don’t know what’s going to go on with testing, etc, but we’ll find out as we go along. I ventured over to an ADD/ADHD message board and got some good responses from people whose kids have used meds. Most were positive, even tho pretty much all of them needed a lot of adjustments before they found the right thing. I’m sure it’s like that with a lot of meds tho. I know meds are what Jaben wants… I think he figures he can take a pill and be able to concentrate just like everyone else. I’m not sure it’s so simple, but I’m willing to look at our options. I still think some kind of therapy would be useful even tho I keep hearing it does little for inattentive-type ADD. It can’t hurt to at least look into it. He has been informed, involved and had a say in every step of this process, and will continue to have a say since this is his mind and his life we’re talking about. He’s a very, very bright boy (even as his biased mom I know this to be true) and out of respect for that, and how hard he’s been trying, I owe it to him to let him have a say in how he’s treated. That’s not to say he’ll have the final say, but we’ll talk about it and decide together.
So. There’s that.
Oh and one little thing that’s not really an update but has me sitting in shock today… one of my favorite customers (one of our biggest accounts!!) came by today to tell us he’s been fired!! He’s been with them for 15 yrs and he’s really made it what it is. We’re not sure right now if we’ll be able to hang onto the account… we’ll see. I just can’t believe they fired him – and if we lose this account because of that we might be in big trouble. So yikes!!
Think good thoughts on that one. I think we’ll probably keep the account… but you never know. Whether we do or not, we’re going to miss our friend.
Monday, October 09, 2006
You think it only happens somewhere else....
I'm going to copy/paste this from elsewhere on the internet because it's just too tiring to re-type. This is just insane and I can't believe I witnessed it with my own eyes...
There we were, after the game - Jaben played more in this game than he had all season and I was so proud of him! The coach's wife had ordered pizza for the boys so we're all over at this park while the boys ate. Suddenly, this woman is screaming in the coach's face! I mean like, the f-word and all! Next thing I know, there's other parents getting involved, the coach's wife - like 5-6 people in this shouting-shoving match! F-word this and F-word that - IN FRONT OF THE BOYS!! I have never seen anything like this in my life - not at a kid's football game! I saw the COACH put his hands around a father's throat!! I mean seriously. You hear about this stuff and see it on tv, but you NEVER expect to see it happen right there in front of you at your kid's game.
Luckily, as soon as it started, Jabe took off for the car (my smart boy) and I did see other parents herding kids to their cars and telling them to roll the windows up, but there were boys just standing there watching! I'm like oh no you're not! I walked over to a group of them and told them to walk away - they do NOT need to see this. OMG you guys, just OMG. This is my kid's coach. I rely on coaches etc to be good role models for my boys since they don't have that in their daily lives - this is BEYOND unacceptable!!!
All the way home we were going "OMG! OMG! OMG!" and of course had to talk to Jaben about it. I can't respect this guy, how do I ask him to? What I told him was that he should not respect that behavior (he said he knew that) but he DID have to respect that man's position as his coach. IF he's still the coach. I would prefer he was relieved of his position, personally. You don't DO that in front of kids!!!!!
So when I got home I called the "head" coach - the guy who runs the league. (Un)Fortunately for me, I was the lucky first parent to call. All he'd heard was from one of the parent's involved, calling him from the police station (yay) to say there was an emergency and he didn't know what it was. So I told him what happened and everything I just said here. I also told him I think someone needs to separate his team from the other boys on Tues and talk to them about it - this cannot be swept under the rug. And he assured me that he would talk to the boys personally. I don't know if the coach will still be coach. He (understandably) told me he had to hear everyone's sides, but I can't see a single scenario where this wouldn't be addressed with these kids, or where this guy will still be coaching. I just can't get over it!! You hear about it but you NEVER think you'll see it at your own kid's game... ever! Completely unbelievable!!!
Okay - then after I wrote that...
OMG! I just got off the phone with the police dept of the city this happened in! The head coach gave them my name and wanted a statement!!! This is INSANE! I only called the head coach to make sure this was taken care of and now the officer is putting my name in the police report! This is just nuts. Nuts. Insane!!
What did I say about not liking this whole football thing? I can't believe any of this... just cannot believe it. And I don't know what's going to happen at practice on Tuesday, but I'm thinking of asking my sister to try to go with him so I know what goes on. Very strange, very surreal, never thought it'd happen here.
There we were, after the game - Jaben played more in this game than he had all season and I was so proud of him! The coach's wife had ordered pizza for the boys so we're all over at this park while the boys ate. Suddenly, this woman is screaming in the coach's face! I mean like, the f-word and all! Next thing I know, there's other parents getting involved, the coach's wife - like 5-6 people in this shouting-shoving match! F-word this and F-word that - IN FRONT OF THE BOYS!! I have never seen anything like this in my life - not at a kid's football game! I saw the COACH put his hands around a father's throat!! I mean seriously. You hear about this stuff and see it on tv, but you NEVER expect to see it happen right there in front of you at your kid's game.
Luckily, as soon as it started, Jabe took off for the car (my smart boy) and I did see other parents herding kids to their cars and telling them to roll the windows up, but there were boys just standing there watching! I'm like oh no you're not! I walked over to a group of them and told them to walk away - they do NOT need to see this. OMG you guys, just OMG. This is my kid's coach. I rely on coaches etc to be good role models for my boys since they don't have that in their daily lives - this is BEYOND unacceptable!!!
All the way home we were going "OMG! OMG! OMG!" and of course had to talk to Jaben about it. I can't respect this guy, how do I ask him to? What I told him was that he should not respect that behavior (he said he knew that) but he DID have to respect that man's position as his coach. IF he's still the coach. I would prefer he was relieved of his position, personally. You don't DO that in front of kids!!!!!
So when I got home I called the "head" coach - the guy who runs the league. (Un)Fortunately for me, I was the lucky first parent to call. All he'd heard was from one of the parent's involved, calling him from the police station (yay) to say there was an emergency and he didn't know what it was. So I told him what happened and everything I just said here. I also told him I think someone needs to separate his team from the other boys on Tues and talk to them about it - this cannot be swept under the rug. And he assured me that he would talk to the boys personally. I don't know if the coach will still be coach. He (understandably) told me he had to hear everyone's sides, but I can't see a single scenario where this wouldn't be addressed with these kids, or where this guy will still be coaching. I just can't get over it!! You hear about it but you NEVER think you'll see it at your own kid's game... ever! Completely unbelievable!!!
Okay - then after I wrote that...
OMG! I just got off the phone with the police dept of the city this happened in! The head coach gave them my name and wanted a statement!!! This is INSANE! I only called the head coach to make sure this was taken care of and now the officer is putting my name in the police report! This is just nuts. Nuts. Insane!!
What did I say about not liking this whole football thing? I can't believe any of this... just cannot believe it. And I don't know what's going to happen at practice on Tuesday, but I'm thinking of asking my sister to try to go with him so I know what goes on. Very strange, very surreal, never thought it'd happen here.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Wow - sorry!
I haven't updated in a whole week and didn't even realize! Sorry Kimberly - I saw your comment and that's what made me check my dates! Crazy how things get busy and everything gets away from you!
As it is, I owe a logo to a friend of mine, which is only about 1/2 finished (I know, I know, don't hate me!) but with things being as crazy as they have been I haven't had a chance to get it completely done! Hoping next week things are back to being more simple. Busy at work, busy at home, family from out of state moving here, football, still haven't got boy scouts straightened out, and now Kyan is about ready to potty train! YIKES!
I've been trying to put off the potty training thing, actually. But I don't think I can wait much longer. He's just ready. He's showing all the signs, I think he really wants to do it and I guess I've just got to get on board with him and help him figure it all out. I'm not totally sure how to do this since Jaben basically trained himself (and yay for Jaben!) but I guess it's time to figure it all out. Wish us luck!!!
As for Jaben, he's been doing better lately. I haven't gotten any nasty-grams from teachers lately, so that's good news. Y'know, no news is good news. They sent the evaluations home with him on Tuesday and I got them all faxed back to the Drs office. We were having trouble with our fax machine so I hope they went! Would it be obnoxious of me to call on Monday and make sure they got them? I did read them tho. Not sure if I was supposed to, but I did. And it sure does look, to my uneducated self, like he's definitely a candidate for inattentive ADD. So I'm pretty sure we'll go thru with the testing. We go see the Dr again on 10/27 so I'll know more then. I still need to call the mental health place (I hate the idea of taking him there!!) the Dr recommended to see if they do the testing, but I'll do that next week. One good thing, by the time he sees the Dr again, football will have ended and he'll have more free time to devote to his life. And that is very important!!!
Game today - ugh! But at least it's a home game so no long traveling!
As it is, I owe a logo to a friend of mine, which is only about 1/2 finished (I know, I know, don't hate me!) but with things being as crazy as they have been I haven't had a chance to get it completely done! Hoping next week things are back to being more simple. Busy at work, busy at home, family from out of state moving here, football, still haven't got boy scouts straightened out, and now Kyan is about ready to potty train! YIKES!
I've been trying to put off the potty training thing, actually. But I don't think I can wait much longer. He's just ready. He's showing all the signs, I think he really wants to do it and I guess I've just got to get on board with him and help him figure it all out. I'm not totally sure how to do this since Jaben basically trained himself (and yay for Jaben!) but I guess it's time to figure it all out. Wish us luck!!!
As for Jaben, he's been doing better lately. I haven't gotten any nasty-grams from teachers lately, so that's good news. Y'know, no news is good news. They sent the evaluations home with him on Tuesday and I got them all faxed back to the Drs office. We were having trouble with our fax machine so I hope they went! Would it be obnoxious of me to call on Monday and make sure they got them? I did read them tho. Not sure if I was supposed to, but I did. And it sure does look, to my uneducated self, like he's definitely a candidate for inattentive ADD. So I'm pretty sure we'll go thru with the testing. We go see the Dr again on 10/27 so I'll know more then. I still need to call the mental health place (I hate the idea of taking him there!!) the Dr recommended to see if they do the testing, but I'll do that next week. One good thing, by the time he sees the Dr again, football will have ended and he'll have more free time to devote to his life. And that is very important!!!
Game today - ugh! But at least it's a home game so no long traveling!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
What the Dr said...
*copied from elsewhere on the internet cuz I just don't wanna type it again*
Have I mentioned I love my Dr? He's great. He didn't understand any more than I did why the teacher changed her position on the ADD testing thing. I forgot to bring her letter with me so he didn't get to see it (I'm holding onto it in case I need it in the future). But he agrees that ADD testing would be a good idea, based on Jaben's history. We've been to him before about things with Jaben and he knows this is an ongoing problem. He did ask about things going on at home, but aside from the everyday things everyone deals with, things are on a pretty even keel at home, so that's not it. I understand his asking this tho - the last time we saw him about issues was when I was pg with Kyan and yes, things were changing at home and stressed and I thought that was to blame. I know better now.
He told me I needed to talk to the Mental Health clinic in our town because he believes they do thorough ADD testing and see what the procedures are and let them know we're considering having my son evaluated. I've got the first evaluation sheets for his 3 teachers and myself to fill out. I need to get ahold of his homeroom teacher and let her know this is going forward whether she thinks it's necessary or not. Both Dr C and I have known Jaben for 10 yrs - I think we know him way better than she does. Once everyone gets their evaluations filled out, they need to get sent back to the Dr. He put his fax number on all of them so the teachers have a choice of faxing them back, mailing them, or sending them home in a sealed envelope with Jaben so I can send them. Doesn't matter to me what they do as long as they do it. Once he's got the evaluations and can go over them, he'll talk to us again. We have another appt in a month and at that time we'll determine what to do.
Today he has an order in at the hospital for a blood draw to check Jaben's thyroid. He doesn't think that's it, but agrees with me that, based on family history, it's a good idea to check it anyway. I've got problems, my mom's got it now too, and I've found out my great-grandmother had problems, so it wouldn't be unusual for Jaben to have a thyroid problem. Like I said, he doesn't think that's it, but better to be safe.
Okay, now this is the part where he scared me. If, once he sees the evaluations, he decides that ADD is unlikely, or we do testing and that's not what's going on, we need to do other types of tests. Specifically, brain-wave testing. Based on what I said, there's a possibility, albeit small, that he's got some sort of seizure disorder. This had NEVER crossed my mind and honestly I wish he hadn't mentioned it. But, with the types of things Jaben is experiencing he could be having petit-mal seizures. The way he explained it to me was, say he's sitting in class and the teacher begins explaining something, like an assignment. He hears, "tonight you need to take home your math book and ---------- Okay, everyone got that?"
If he's having these small seizures, it would explain why he's missing bits of things, and that would definitely affect his memory and recall, concentration, etc. I never would've thought of that. I was talking to my friend later while I was working on her computer; I told her about this and said, "The thing that gets me is, I've seen this. He stares like he's not quite there but if you repeat his name or wave your hand in front of his face he comes back. I never thought it could be something like that." Well, she got this "look" on her face and it hit me - she's seen it too. She's known him since birth too. So I asked her and she nodded and said she's seen it herself but wow, never, ever would've thought seizure. I wish he hadn't put this in my head, because even tho it's "worst case scenario" it's still there and I keep thinking of things that could point to it. I hate that feeling.
So that's where things stand with Jabe right now. We'll get the thyroid testing done today and send the evaluations to the teachers on Monday. Then in a month we'll see what the Dr thinks. Until then, we wait.
Have I mentioned I love my Dr? He's great. He didn't understand any more than I did why the teacher changed her position on the ADD testing thing. I forgot to bring her letter with me so he didn't get to see it (I'm holding onto it in case I need it in the future). But he agrees that ADD testing would be a good idea, based on Jaben's history. We've been to him before about things with Jaben and he knows this is an ongoing problem. He did ask about things going on at home, but aside from the everyday things everyone deals with, things are on a pretty even keel at home, so that's not it. I understand his asking this tho - the last time we saw him about issues was when I was pg with Kyan and yes, things were changing at home and stressed and I thought that was to blame. I know better now.
He told me I needed to talk to the Mental Health clinic in our town because he believes they do thorough ADD testing and see what the procedures are and let them know we're considering having my son evaluated. I've got the first evaluation sheets for his 3 teachers and myself to fill out. I need to get ahold of his homeroom teacher and let her know this is going forward whether she thinks it's necessary or not. Both Dr C and I have known Jaben for 10 yrs - I think we know him way better than she does. Once everyone gets their evaluations filled out, they need to get sent back to the Dr. He put his fax number on all of them so the teachers have a choice of faxing them back, mailing them, or sending them home in a sealed envelope with Jaben so I can send them. Doesn't matter to me what they do as long as they do it. Once he's got the evaluations and can go over them, he'll talk to us again. We have another appt in a month and at that time we'll determine what to do.
Today he has an order in at the hospital for a blood draw to check Jaben's thyroid. He doesn't think that's it, but agrees with me that, based on family history, it's a good idea to check it anyway. I've got problems, my mom's got it now too, and I've found out my great-grandmother had problems, so it wouldn't be unusual for Jaben to have a thyroid problem. Like I said, he doesn't think that's it, but better to be safe.
Okay, now this is the part where he scared me. If, once he sees the evaluations, he decides that ADD is unlikely, or we do testing and that's not what's going on, we need to do other types of tests. Specifically, brain-wave testing. Based on what I said, there's a possibility, albeit small, that he's got some sort of seizure disorder. This had NEVER crossed my mind and honestly I wish he hadn't mentioned it. But, with the types of things Jaben is experiencing he could be having petit-mal seizures. The way he explained it to me was, say he's sitting in class and the teacher begins explaining something, like an assignment. He hears, "tonight you need to take home your math book and ---------- Okay, everyone got that?"
If he's having these small seizures, it would explain why he's missing bits of things, and that would definitely affect his memory and recall, concentration, etc. I never would've thought of that. I was talking to my friend later while I was working on her computer; I told her about this and said, "The thing that gets me is, I've seen this. He stares like he's not quite there but if you repeat his name or wave your hand in front of his face he comes back. I never thought it could be something like that." Well, she got this "look" on her face and it hit me - she's seen it too. She's known him since birth too. So I asked her and she nodded and said she's seen it herself but wow, never, ever would've thought seizure. I wish he hadn't put this in my head, because even tho it's "worst case scenario" it's still there and I keep thinking of things that could point to it. I hate that feeling.
So that's where things stand with Jabe right now. We'll get the thyroid testing done today and send the evaluations to the teachers on Monday. Then in a month we'll see what the Dr thinks. Until then, we wait.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!
And no, the title has nothing to do with anything. I just like it.
Anyway, just when I think the school system is going to work in our favor, they let me down again.
They’ve changed their minds and refused to test Jabe for ADD. I’ve been told by a few people (teachers, 1 special ed) that this is illegal.
Huuuuuge sigh here…
I don’t really want to fight the school system. I don’t want to get into all of that. I just want my boy to get what he needs to have a good time with school, to not feel “less than” the other kids again. It really makes me wonder what in the world his school records say that the teacher would decide not to test him because of them. Especially if it’s illegal for her to do this?
So, we go to the doctor on Friday and talk to him about it. See what he thinks. One way or another I feel like I need to get something done. I did take some initiative and have begun a “behavior chart.” Basically it’s a calendar (I’ve only got September done so far and we’re past halfway in this month!) with spaces to mark behavior problems or triumphs. At different intervals I will be putting special rewards – yes I will be rewarding this child if he does well! This month, since there’s so little left, has only got a reward on the 29th. If we have little to no problems before then, he’ll get a small reward – rent a video game, out to dinner alone with mom, out to see a movie, etc – something relatively inexpensive. After that, there’ll be different levels of reward for more time with no issues. Yeah I know, but do you have a better idea?
Me either. So we’ll see how this goes. Heck, last night he volunteered to do the dinner dishes for me! That’s a definite first and earned him a +1 on the chart. Whatever works.
And as if I didn’t have enough to think about, Kyan’s got a cold. Nasty runny nose, croupy sounding cough, slightly elevated temp on Monday (didn’t go over 101.5) and he’s just not feelin’ good. Poor baby!! I tried giving him infant’s cold medicine but he spits about half of it out, so it really doesn’t seem to do much good. There’s just not a lot you can do for a cold…. He’s just gotta suffer thru it. Poor little guy. It’s just really pathetic hearing that hoarse little cry and knowing there isn’t a damn thing you can do to fix it.
Hopefully this weekend will bring better news on all fronts. Stay tuned!
Anyway, just when I think the school system is going to work in our favor, they let me down again.
They’ve changed their minds and refused to test Jabe for ADD. I’ve been told by a few people (teachers, 1 special ed) that this is illegal.
Huuuuuge sigh here…
I don’t really want to fight the school system. I don’t want to get into all of that. I just want my boy to get what he needs to have a good time with school, to not feel “less than” the other kids again. It really makes me wonder what in the world his school records say that the teacher would decide not to test him because of them. Especially if it’s illegal for her to do this?
So, we go to the doctor on Friday and talk to him about it. See what he thinks. One way or another I feel like I need to get something done. I did take some initiative and have begun a “behavior chart.” Basically it’s a calendar (I’ve only got September done so far and we’re past halfway in this month!) with spaces to mark behavior problems or triumphs. At different intervals I will be putting special rewards – yes I will be rewarding this child if he does well! This month, since there’s so little left, has only got a reward on the 29th. If we have little to no problems before then, he’ll get a small reward – rent a video game, out to dinner alone with mom, out to see a movie, etc – something relatively inexpensive. After that, there’ll be different levels of reward for more time with no issues. Yeah I know, but do you have a better idea?
Me either. So we’ll see how this goes. Heck, last night he volunteered to do the dinner dishes for me! That’s a definite first and earned him a +1 on the chart. Whatever works.
And as if I didn’t have enough to think about, Kyan’s got a cold. Nasty runny nose, croupy sounding cough, slightly elevated temp on Monday (didn’t go over 101.5) and he’s just not feelin’ good. Poor baby!! I tried giving him infant’s cold medicine but he spits about half of it out, so it really doesn’t seem to do much good. There’s just not a lot you can do for a cold…. He’s just gotta suffer thru it. Poor little guy. It’s just really pathetic hearing that hoarse little cry and knowing there isn’t a damn thing you can do to fix it.
Hopefully this weekend will bring better news on all fronts. Stay tuned!
Friday, September 15, 2006
And now the bad news....
I've got an admission to make. I haven't been completely honest about my incredible 10-yr old. There are problems, and not easily solved problems either.
Ever since 1st grade, Jaben has had trouble in school. Not necessarily the work, but listening, following directions, focusing, paying attention. It's been a pretty constant battle, with the exception of 4th grade and I still believe with my whole heart that went so well because the teacher was amazing. In my naivete, I thought we'd gotten things right and he'd be fine now.
Ohhhh how wrong I was.
I got the first phone call from the teacher on the 6th day of school. That same day I got a note from another teacher in the team. And things have been in a constant downward spiral from there. This week alone he has lost a recess and today he served his first detention. I was beginning to think I was raising a juvenile delinquent.
So I decided to put the internets to good use... for something other than messing around and I began looking for solutions, options, ANYthing that would help my son. That's when I came across this:
* Pays little attention to details; makes careless mistakes;
* Has short attention span;
* Does not listen when spoken to directly;
* Does not follow instructions; fails to finish tasks;
* Has difficulty organizing tasks;
* Avoids tasks that require sustained mental effort;
* Loses things;
* Is easily distracted;
* Is forgetful in daily activities.
WOW! A checklist that describes my son!! COOL!
Oh wait... that's the Primarily Inattentive ADD checklist.
*gulp*
Now just so you know, I never once imagined Jaben as having ADD. Never would've even thought about it. But I can't look at this and think he doesn't. The scary thing is, it makes me feel a little bit relieved. I mean, if this is what's wrong, then we can work with this, we can get him the help he needs (I'm pretty much against meds for children so we'd go the behavioral modification/therapist route first and foremost), we can get him classified special needs at school so that he can get the help he needs!!
Oh God what if it's NOT Inattentive ADD?
I'm covering all my bases on this one. Today I saw the teacher - she read the list and listened while I explained his history since first grade (including a visit to the school therapist I was NOT informed about until after the fact, in second grade). And she agrees with me that ADD is definitely something we should explore. So -- she's going to begin filing the paperwork to have him tested thru the school.
The reason I say I'm covering all my bases is that I also made an appt with his doctor for next Friday. I want him to have a full physical, I want his thyroid checked, blood sugar levels, pee test (he'll love that) because I want to be SURE there isn't something physical going on that has his chemicals out of whack and makes all this difficult. Since I have to have the school do the ADD test to get him classified, I'm going to inform the Dr of what's going on and that I want him involved if at all possible. I trust him, he's with me on the "no unnecessary meds for kids" thing, he's known Jaben since the day he was born, and he cares about his well-being. Who wouldn't want someone like that on their side??
I just want to do what I can to make my baby's life easier. It wasn't easy calling the teacher to get an appointment to discuss this, it was even harder talking to her, it's not going to be easy talking to the Dr about it next week... it's like admitting there's something wrong with your child but he's beautiful and smart and perfect... so that can't be right.
But there is... there is something going on with my son that I can't fix.
I hate like hell to admit that.
But I'm going to do everything within my power to make it right for him. When you look in his big brown eyes you can see that he's frustrated too, he wants answers too... and dammit, I'm going to get them for him.
No matter what, I am going to get some answers for him.
Ever since 1st grade, Jaben has had trouble in school. Not necessarily the work, but listening, following directions, focusing, paying attention. It's been a pretty constant battle, with the exception of 4th grade and I still believe with my whole heart that went so well because the teacher was amazing. In my naivete, I thought we'd gotten things right and he'd be fine now.
Ohhhh how wrong I was.
I got the first phone call from the teacher on the 6th day of school. That same day I got a note from another teacher in the team. And things have been in a constant downward spiral from there. This week alone he has lost a recess and today he served his first detention. I was beginning to think I was raising a juvenile delinquent.
So I decided to put the internets to good use... for something other than messing around and I began looking for solutions, options, ANYthing that would help my son. That's when I came across this:
* Pays little attention to details; makes careless mistakes;
* Has short attention span;
* Does not listen when spoken to directly;
* Does not follow instructions; fails to finish tasks;
* Has difficulty organizing tasks;
* Avoids tasks that require sustained mental effort;
* Loses things;
* Is easily distracted;
* Is forgetful in daily activities.
WOW! A checklist that describes my son!! COOL!
Oh wait... that's the Primarily Inattentive ADD checklist.
*gulp*
Now just so you know, I never once imagined Jaben as having ADD. Never would've even thought about it. But I can't look at this and think he doesn't. The scary thing is, it makes me feel a little bit relieved. I mean, if this is what's wrong, then we can work with this, we can get him the help he needs (I'm pretty much against meds for children so we'd go the behavioral modification/therapist route first and foremost), we can get him classified special needs at school so that he can get the help he needs!!
Oh God what if it's NOT Inattentive ADD?
I'm covering all my bases on this one. Today I saw the teacher - she read the list and listened while I explained his history since first grade (including a visit to the school therapist I was NOT informed about until after the fact, in second grade). And she agrees with me that ADD is definitely something we should explore. So -- she's going to begin filing the paperwork to have him tested thru the school.
The reason I say I'm covering all my bases is that I also made an appt with his doctor for next Friday. I want him to have a full physical, I want his thyroid checked, blood sugar levels, pee test (he'll love that) because I want to be SURE there isn't something physical going on that has his chemicals out of whack and makes all this difficult. Since I have to have the school do the ADD test to get him classified, I'm going to inform the Dr of what's going on and that I want him involved if at all possible. I trust him, he's with me on the "no unnecessary meds for kids" thing, he's known Jaben since the day he was born, and he cares about his well-being. Who wouldn't want someone like that on their side??
I just want to do what I can to make my baby's life easier. It wasn't easy calling the teacher to get an appointment to discuss this, it was even harder talking to her, it's not going to be easy talking to the Dr about it next week... it's like admitting there's something wrong with your child but he's beautiful and smart and perfect... so that can't be right.
But there is... there is something going on with my son that I can't fix.
I hate like hell to admit that.
But I'm going to do everything within my power to make it right for him. When you look in his big brown eyes you can see that he's frustrated too, he wants answers too... and dammit, I'm going to get them for him.
No matter what, I am going to get some answers for him.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
fouw… fie…. sis…
I had it in mind to write an amusing post about the return of the skinny jean (I mean really?? Are they serious?? WHO looks good in those? Please, ladies, let’s do ourselves a favor and not buy them – never wear things simply because the Fashion Gods say you should! There are very few things that make your ass, hips, and thighs look bigger than skinny jeans! Yes you end up with petite, pretty ankles, but at the expense (expanse??) of what? Looking like you have a gigantic ass?? Please. Ladies. Just say no to skinny jeans. ‘Nuff said.) but then I decided I had something more exciting to say.
KYAN IS A BABY GENIUS!!!!
Okay maybe genius is too strong of a word. But here’s what happened… we were counting last night…
Me: One… two… three…
Him: fouw… fie…. sis…
Me: OH MY GOD YOU JUST COUNTED!!!!!!
Yup, it went just like that. I did get him to say “seven, eight, nine” once too, but then he gave me that “Mother… I am not a performing monkey, here for your enjoyment” look, so I stopped. I DO have a witness tho. He counted for Jaben this morning – and Jaben freaked too! Okay, the kid will be 20 mos on the 22nd… only 20 mos….
That counts for baby genious-ness, right? If not, I don’t wanna know.
(but seriously -- don't buy the skinny jeans)
KYAN IS A BABY GENIUS!!!!
Okay maybe genius is too strong of a word. But here’s what happened… we were counting last night…
Me: One… two… three…
Him: fouw… fie…. sis…
Me: OH MY GOD YOU JUST COUNTED!!!!!!
Yup, it went just like that. I did get him to say “seven, eight, nine” once too, but then he gave me that “Mother… I am not a performing monkey, here for your enjoyment” look, so I stopped. I DO have a witness tho. He counted for Jaben this morning – and Jaben freaked too! Okay, the kid will be 20 mos on the 22nd… only 20 mos….
That counts for baby genious-ness, right? If not, I don’t wanna know.
(but seriously -- don't buy the skinny jeans)
Monday, September 11, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Wow what a week!
Okay so to continue...
Jaben is still in football. Barely. He had a BAD week at school (I mean really, who gets a phone call from one teacher AND a note from another on the SIXTH day of school???)so he's been on serious notice. He was hardcore grounded this weekend, which means no bike, no friends, no tv, no computer, no video games - in his room cleaning, cleaning around the house (hehe, I made him do the bathroom!!) and generally being my whipping boy. So I wasn't all that sure, adding on what was going on in school, that he could handle football and everything else. I figured if he didn't get to play today then we were done.
So of course he played today.
A lot.
So yay!!
Of course Coach Jackass was with the other half of the 5th grade team (playing a different team on a different field in a different city) and wasn't directly controlling who went in, and there were fewer boys because of the split, but dammit -he played. And he had fun.
Good. But boo.
Have I mentioned that I hate football?
For now, I've decided to let it ride. He's got a clean slate starting tomorrow (Monday) with both school and sports. I've been communicating with both teachers and we've got something worked out -- he's gotta do his part, but at least this way I can keep tabs on him, somewhat, while he's out of direct reach of me. If he works hard at everything, he's fine. If not, it's gonna suck to be him.
Also, we got a new fridge this weekend! Yay for cold milk and things that freeze and actually stay frozen! It's huge, we got a great deal on it, and I love it. Is being excited about a new appliance a sign that you're a grownup?
Bummer.
But oh it's so nice!!
Also, we had our first play practice this week for A Christmas Carol. I'm even more excited about this one because I get to be in it! It's going to be a LOT of fun! More on that another day...
Jaben is still in football. Barely. He had a BAD week at school (I mean really, who gets a phone call from one teacher AND a note from another on the SIXTH day of school???)so he's been on serious notice. He was hardcore grounded this weekend, which means no bike, no friends, no tv, no computer, no video games - in his room cleaning, cleaning around the house (hehe, I made him do the bathroom!!) and generally being my whipping boy. So I wasn't all that sure, adding on what was going on in school, that he could handle football and everything else. I figured if he didn't get to play today then we were done.
So of course he played today.
A lot.
So yay!!
Of course Coach Jackass was with the other half of the 5th grade team (playing a different team on a different field in a different city) and wasn't directly controlling who went in, and there were fewer boys because of the split, but dammit -he played. And he had fun.
Good. But boo.
Have I mentioned that I hate football?
For now, I've decided to let it ride. He's got a clean slate starting tomorrow (Monday) with both school and sports. I've been communicating with both teachers and we've got something worked out -- he's gotta do his part, but at least this way I can keep tabs on him, somewhat, while he's out of direct reach of me. If he works hard at everything, he's fine. If not, it's gonna suck to be him.
Also, we got a new fridge this weekend! Yay for cold milk and things that freeze and actually stay frozen! It's huge, we got a great deal on it, and I love it. Is being excited about a new appliance a sign that you're a grownup?
Bummer.
But oh it's so nice!!
Also, we had our first play practice this week for A Christmas Carol. I'm even more excited about this one because I get to be in it! It's going to be a LOT of fun! More on that another day...
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Football sucks.
It’s no big secret I don’t like my son playing football. Or maybe it is, maybe I’ve done a much better job of hiding my feelings than I thought. Possible but I doubt it.
But right now, how I was feeling before no longer matters. Football positively sucks and I can’t wait until this stupid season ends. If it were possible, he’d be done now. Yes, now.
The reason is very simple. He did not get to play in the game on Sunday. Yep, that’s it, he didn’t get to play. Okay that’s not the full reason, that just started it. I realize that in kids’ sports some kids get to play more than others. I realize that the less athletic kids are the ones who spend more time on the bench or sidelines. I get that and I am fully aware that my son is one of those kids. Got it, but he wants to play so let’s move on.
The coaches (who I would love to name but will not) of this league (that I would love to name but will not) have told the kids from day 1 of conditioning that the point right now is to play and have fun. They have stressed that this is a learning league and that they will teach them everything they need to know. GREAT!! Especially for my son. This is something he NEEDS, in order to learn the game and maybe have more of that fun they were talkin’ about.
But apparently it’s not working out quite the way they said… at least for the 5 or 6 boys who stood on the sidelines hoping, waiting for their turn on the field this past Sunday. And my problem with this is that I don’t know how to handle it. He’s not a baby, he’s not even a very young child. But he’s not a teenager or an adult either. Do I say something? Do I do something? Or do I just seethe quietly and let him be left out? What the hell do I do???
Monday was Labor Day and the boys and I were at Walmart picking up a few things we needed when we ran into another football mom. She’s kind a joiner mom and her son, I believe, plays for the 6th grade team. She stopped us and asked how the game was on Sunday, and asked how Jaben did. When we told her what happened, she was in shock. She said that, knowing Coach Namewithheld, she couldn’t imagine he knew there were kids who didn’t get on the field and that I should call him so he knew. Maybe that would keep it from happening again. At least, she said, that’s what she’d do.
To be honest, I did want to approach the coach because I really did think it was a simple mistake. So when we got home, got settled, and it was quiet, I called him.
The guy is a jerk.
First of all, he was incredibly rude on the phone. I think I had a legitimate concern and… Well, have you ever had the “pleasure” of talking to a man who looks down on women and talks to them as if he has better things to do? Yeah, like that. Very. Unpleasant. Conversation. But the gist of it was this: he purposely left 5 or 6 boys out of the game because he didn’t want to lose. No, he did not admit that outright. He talked in circles quite enough to get to that. At first it was that he thought the other team was tough (they were smaller than the boys from last week) and he didn’t want these boys to get hurt. Then it was that it was a tight game and he needed to use the starters. Then it was that these boys don’t work hard enough in practice and don’t deserve to play in tough games. Are you following?
Yeah, he kept them out because he was afraid to lose.
And this man is supposed to be a role model for boys.
Worse, he lied to me outright. He said that after the game he grabbed all the boys who didn’t play, told them he was sorry and explained the situation. Now I know for a fact that was untrue because as soon as the game ended, I came down off the bleachers and watched my son. I expected him to be upset and needed to see. As I was standing, waiting for him, I saw another boy and his mother walk by and I heard her telling him that she would guarantee he would play in the rest of the games. Bearing in mind that Jaben left the sidelines AFTER this boy and not one coach approached MY son, what are the chances this boy received any attention either?
Slim. Quite slim. So why did Coach Namewithheld lie to me? Why did he tell these boys that this league was about playing and having fun if he wasn’t going to keep his word?
Why is this man working with children? If winning a game is more important to him than his own word and the developing egos and self-esteem of pre-teen boys, does he even have any business working with children? Leaving out the fact that he lied to ME… what are these boys learning from him?
Starting this week, Jaben will be missing all Thursday practices. I wasn’t worried about this because I discussed it with Coach Namewithheld earlier in conditioning and he said not to worry about it, that Jaben was doing fine (oh really???) and there was nothing to worry about – if he wanted to play, he’d play. But now that I know how he really is, I’m having trouble trusting what he said and I wonder if I’m going to take my son to every game only to see him standing on the sidelines wondering why he’s not playing. I am not willing to put my child through that.
It’s probably fortunate that I have to go to Open House tonight and won’t be picking Jaben up from practice. This gives me another day to decide how to approach the situation. I need to talk to Coach Namewithheld again to remind him about the Thursday dilemma and to find out how game days will be handled now that the boys have split into 2 teams per grade. Will we miss receiving directions or plans to travel in groups to games if we’re not there on Thursday? Is there any way I can get this information on Wednesday? I don’t know where ANY of these schools are so I will NEED this information or we will not get there. Somehow I doubt he’s going to go out of his way to help me out.
So yeah, football sucks. I really can’t wait for this blasted season to be over so we can move on to things my son enjoys, that I think will actually benefit him. Because other than physically (he’s getting in such good shape, I will give football THAT), I don’t think there’s much positive to be learned here.
And THAT really sucks.
But right now, how I was feeling before no longer matters. Football positively sucks and I can’t wait until this stupid season ends. If it were possible, he’d be done now. Yes, now.
The reason is very simple. He did not get to play in the game on Sunday. Yep, that’s it, he didn’t get to play. Okay that’s not the full reason, that just started it. I realize that in kids’ sports some kids get to play more than others. I realize that the less athletic kids are the ones who spend more time on the bench or sidelines. I get that and I am fully aware that my son is one of those kids. Got it, but he wants to play so let’s move on.
The coaches (who I would love to name but will not) of this league (that I would love to name but will not) have told the kids from day 1 of conditioning that the point right now is to play and have fun. They have stressed that this is a learning league and that they will teach them everything they need to know. GREAT!! Especially for my son. This is something he NEEDS, in order to learn the game and maybe have more of that fun they were talkin’ about.
But apparently it’s not working out quite the way they said… at least for the 5 or 6 boys who stood on the sidelines hoping, waiting for their turn on the field this past Sunday. And my problem with this is that I don’t know how to handle it. He’s not a baby, he’s not even a very young child. But he’s not a teenager or an adult either. Do I say something? Do I do something? Or do I just seethe quietly and let him be left out? What the hell do I do???
Monday was Labor Day and the boys and I were at Walmart picking up a few things we needed when we ran into another football mom. She’s kind a joiner mom and her son, I believe, plays for the 6th grade team. She stopped us and asked how the game was on Sunday, and asked how Jaben did. When we told her what happened, she was in shock. She said that, knowing Coach Namewithheld, she couldn’t imagine he knew there were kids who didn’t get on the field and that I should call him so he knew. Maybe that would keep it from happening again. At least, she said, that’s what she’d do.
To be honest, I did want to approach the coach because I really did think it was a simple mistake. So when we got home, got settled, and it was quiet, I called him.
The guy is a jerk.
First of all, he was incredibly rude on the phone. I think I had a legitimate concern and… Well, have you ever had the “pleasure” of talking to a man who looks down on women and talks to them as if he has better things to do? Yeah, like that. Very. Unpleasant. Conversation. But the gist of it was this: he purposely left 5 or 6 boys out of the game because he didn’t want to lose. No, he did not admit that outright. He talked in circles quite enough to get to that. At first it was that he thought the other team was tough (they were smaller than the boys from last week) and he didn’t want these boys to get hurt. Then it was that it was a tight game and he needed to use the starters. Then it was that these boys don’t work hard enough in practice and don’t deserve to play in tough games. Are you following?
Yeah, he kept them out because he was afraid to lose.
And this man is supposed to be a role model for boys.
Worse, he lied to me outright. He said that after the game he grabbed all the boys who didn’t play, told them he was sorry and explained the situation. Now I know for a fact that was untrue because as soon as the game ended, I came down off the bleachers and watched my son. I expected him to be upset and needed to see. As I was standing, waiting for him, I saw another boy and his mother walk by and I heard her telling him that she would guarantee he would play in the rest of the games. Bearing in mind that Jaben left the sidelines AFTER this boy and not one coach approached MY son, what are the chances this boy received any attention either?
Slim. Quite slim. So why did Coach Namewithheld lie to me? Why did he tell these boys that this league was about playing and having fun if he wasn’t going to keep his word?
Why is this man working with children? If winning a game is more important to him than his own word and the developing egos and self-esteem of pre-teen boys, does he even have any business working with children? Leaving out the fact that he lied to ME… what are these boys learning from him?
Starting this week, Jaben will be missing all Thursday practices. I wasn’t worried about this because I discussed it with Coach Namewithheld earlier in conditioning and he said not to worry about it, that Jaben was doing fine (oh really???) and there was nothing to worry about – if he wanted to play, he’d play. But now that I know how he really is, I’m having trouble trusting what he said and I wonder if I’m going to take my son to every game only to see him standing on the sidelines wondering why he’s not playing. I am not willing to put my child through that.
It’s probably fortunate that I have to go to Open House tonight and won’t be picking Jaben up from practice. This gives me another day to decide how to approach the situation. I need to talk to Coach Namewithheld again to remind him about the Thursday dilemma and to find out how game days will be handled now that the boys have split into 2 teams per grade. Will we miss receiving directions or plans to travel in groups to games if we’re not there on Thursday? Is there any way I can get this information on Wednesday? I don’t know where ANY of these schools are so I will NEED this information or we will not get there. Somehow I doubt he’s going to go out of his way to help me out.
So yeah, football sucks. I really can’t wait for this blasted season to be over so we can move on to things my son enjoys, that I think will actually benefit him. Because other than physically (he’s getting in such good shape, I will give football THAT), I don’t think there’s much positive to be learned here.
And THAT really sucks.
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