So trick or treat was last night. My guys were a cute little green dragon and a scary, bloody insane clown. Guess which kid was which? LOL! The dragon was in NO mood for it last night tho so I got no good pics of him. I have one from the Cub party last week so at least that's something. The little dragon and I went for about 1/2 hr, then the big, scary clown and my sister went for the next hour while we went home (he screamed the WHOLE WAY) and handed out candy. Ky kept getting into the candy bucket and every time he did I'd tell him he had to say "trick or treat!" He fell for it for a while and then would give me this "look" and just fall back on his usual "peas?"
Jaben and Keli had a great time together tho. I swear Kel is just an overgrown kid! And we've got enough candy to last for months!!!
On a less-than-fun note, it seems that this ADD thing is one step forward and 2 steps back. I got a detention notice from Jaben's teacher. Generally, when they forget supplies they lose 5 pts. But according to the detention slip, she says losing 5 pts doesn't seem to phase him so she's giving him detention.
My first thought upon reading this was "Huh?" That makes absolutely no sense to me. I can't see how sitting thru detention will help him remember his stuff. So, I may have put my foot in it, but I signed the slip and sent a note along with it saying that I'm not sure detention for this is productive for my son, and I think other strategies need to be implemented. I told her I thought I needed to speak to the counselor again and see what can be done since testing thru the school hasn't begun yet and the Dr doesn't want to treat until we get him set at school. I just don't think detention is the answer.
So I called the school, and the counselor isn't in today but they said they'd call him at the school he's at today and have him call me. There's just got to be something we can do to get Jabe thru until we can get the darn testing done!! This kid went thru this in 3rd grade and it got to the point where he was begging to be home schooled... I can see this year heading in the same direction and I absolutely refuse to allow it to happen again. So, something different has to be done. He's a good boy, very sensitive and all this over-the-top "discipline" BS is doing is scaring him and making him feel bad about himself -- exactly the opposite of what I, at least, want to accomplish.
***update from later in the day***
I did hear back from the counselor and he agrees with me that detention for forgetting something is counter-productive in Jaben's case and said that he will speak with the teacher when he's at the school tomorrow to see what they can come up with, strategy-wise. He also said that he will talk to Jaben to see how he's doing, where he feels he needs help and maybe to give him suggestions on how to make things work a little better for him.
He is giving the ADD testing over to the other counselor tho, and that kinda sux. Because I feel comfortable with him, but the other counselor is at the school more, so he feels she should handle it. I understand, even if I’m not thrilled. I LIKE him, he “gets it.” Gosh, before I hung up he commented on how my involvement and support goes a long way toward helping Jaben – and that just blew me away! I’m not used to getting that from the schools.
I should hear soon about the first meeting with the teachers and psychologist. I’m not excited about that part… not knowing what to expect and so much negativity over the years has made me leery. But if we can get thru that first step, maybe we can get my boy some much-needed help and treatment this year before we end up with a repeat of 3rd grade.
Just for the record… ADD can bite me.
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3 comments:
What about natural consequences? Such as if he forgets his supplies, he does without, even if it means he reads a book for 40 minutes and then has a honkin' load of homework to do, or that he stays in a recess to recomplete whatever assingment he forgot? Would that work? Because while I see you not wanting to use counter-productive strategies and hit his self-esteem hard, I do see it from the teacher standpoint as well. And frankly, a kid that is constantly unprepared and cannot get it together is a huge disruption to a classroom even if he's just sitting there quietly.
Now see, those suggestions make sense. The consequence needs to have something to do with the offense. That's part of what the counselor said when I spoke with him earlier... he does need consequenses, and I agree with that completely. But if it's completely unrelated to the offense, and detention doesn't seem to align with forgetting (which is a major symptom of inattentive ADD) then what is he learning? If she made him stay in from recess or do the assignment as homework, I would understand. But during detention they're not allowed to do any homework or read or anything... so I can't follow her line of reasoning.
What I want is for everyone to work together and for strategies to be worked out so that she's not frustrated, he's not frustrated, she's able to teach and he's able to learn. And I can quit calling the school every other week. Hopefully the counselor will be able to help that out a little bit.
"But during detention they're not allowed to do any homework or read or anything... "
Ok, that's just stupid. If you have detention for not doing your homework, you do your homework during detention. Hell, even if your excuse is "I forgot it at home" I can see taking a hard line of "If it's not handed in, it's not completed. Do it again at recess." But to just have them sitting there doing nothing??? That is inane. And bad teaching practice. And you can tell her I said so.
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