Maybe not

So much for taking advantage of that child vacation. I worked, got some stuff accomplished around the house, and missed my boys. That's it. No big epiphanies, no soul searching, just.... hanging out, missing my kids.

At some point I know I'm going to have to figure out life without them, but Kyan is only 5 so I don't feel any real pressing need. Right now, this is my life. I work, sure, I do a few things "on the side" to keep my hand in with creative graphics (job does NOT require creativity!), but first and foremost I'm the mom.

And you know what? That's okay. It's my choice. I could do other things, I'm sure. People tell me I need to do some things for myself and I'm sure I do sometimes. But it's not priority for me. My priorities lie with my boys, and because that's what I choose - they're what I choose - it's all good.

I do reserve the right to change my thoughts on this at any time, but right at this moment, I'm cool with where things are. For now, let's just go with that.

Child vacation!

I should be excited about my boys going on a trip with their grandma to visit my sister and her family in Delaware. And I am, for them. For me? Not so much. I had to stay here and work, which isn't a big deal, it's just that I'm going to miss them.

I don't know how to come home to an empty house, without hugs. Or go to bed without goodnight kisses and deep inhales of sweaty little boy neck. I don't know how to go a whole day without saying, "Did you brush your teeth?" or "Did you put on deodorant?" I don't know how to go about the day-to-day not acting as Mom.

But I guess that's something I need to learn. Sure Kyan's only 5, but they're not going to be at home with me forever. Maybe it's time for me to begin to discover again who I am besides mommy. Mommy is my favorite title tho, so that's tough. However, I think it'd be best for me and for them if I take this week to begin to figure that out. Or begin figuring out how to figure that out. Or something.

Anyway, the boys are gone for a week and I'm on my own. And the only plans I've made are to grab some Chinese takeout on the way home and then get some groceries.

Exciting, right?

She lives!

I abandoned this blog some time ago, but this week I came back and read thru the entries and was amazed at how many of my boys stories I'd forgotten! What an amazing thing to have!! Kyan was 14 mos old when I began blogging and is now 5 and ready to start kindergarten! Jaben was 9 - now 14 and heading into his first year of high school! So much time has gone by, so many things have happened... so many stories undocumented.

A lot of things have changed since I stopped blogging semi-regularly, probably too many to write about right now. However, since I've decided to try to start up again (w00t!), some of those things will probably be mentioned. So, that's good.

I want to change the name of the blog and will be thinking about that, as well as the design, because neither of those things really feel right to me at this point. But! More stories to come, hopefully more humorous than not.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkk!!! And hopefully will eventually gain some readers. Cuz don't nobody come here no more.