Twelve years ago today...

12 yrs ago today I was sitting in the hospital room (incidentally the same room Kyan was born in) watching Rosie O'Donnell and the monitor for contractions.

12 yrs ago today I had no idea what was coming next... all I knew was that I couldn't wait to meet my baby.

12 yrs ago today my life changed forever and I am so thankful for it.

Jaben is 12 today. TWELVE. How did I get to be the mother of a 12 yr old? I don't feel like I'm old enough! One more year and I'll be the mother of a teenager! Gosh, that sounds so old! He starts middle school in the fall, he's got his own interests and friends, he grunts his answers and doesn't tell me everything anymore. He already acts like a teenager in so many ways.

But he's amazing. He's so smart and funny - he's got a great sense of sarcasm, which is my favorite. I love that about him! He's handsome and kind, sweet and loving. He doesn't show that he cares what other people think of him - he cares of course and he's working on that - he doesn't let the opinions of others affect his actions, his day, or how he feels about himself. I think that's very rare in a kid his age, and even tho I know it came, in part, from everything he's gone thru in school and with other kids, it's a good thing because it's a quality that will serve him so well in his future. Even tho his little brother drives him crazy, he's an amazing big brother. He loves him and protects him and only wants the best for him. As long as it doesn't interfere with Jaben getting his share. Very, very normal, and I'm glad he gets to have that experience, even with the age difference.

I don't think I'm the best mom, but I think I'm the best mom for him. Because he's the best kid for me. Some people believe that we choose who our parents are going to be before we are born. I'm not sure if I believe that or not, but it sure is a humbling thought. Why would such an amazing person choose me? I can't begin to imagine, but whatever the reason, however I got him, I'm so lucky and am so blessed to have him in my life.

Happy 12th Birthday, Jaben! I love you so much!