Consumed by poison

I am consumed with the thoughts of smoking a cigarette. I am off patches, I am really just fiiiine on my own, with no assistance.

Except.

Except that I cannot get the thought of smoking a cigarette out of my mind.

I know it smells.

I know it would taste terrible.

I know it would, most likely, make me feel ill.

And yet.

And yet...

I wonder if just "one" would remove that thought from my head.

Yuck, that's awful. Ugh, my stomach is upset, I'm dizzy now. Don't want to do that again.

Yes, it might help. At least I'd know.

It's not going to happen. I am sitting here at work, unable to leave the phones. So I remain consumed by the thought.

Of just one... just one to get me thru.