Examiner.com

I know, I know, I never post anymore and nobody is reading, but just in case anyone is, please visit Examiner.com where I am the NEW High-Tech Kids Examiner! That's right! Read, subscribe, hang out -- but come see me at Examiner.com!! Articles will be posted a few times a week, so check back often! Ideas and suggestions are always welcome!

So much

Yep, I'm still around. Sort of. And I have so much to say here, but much of it I'm not quite ready to say yet. Things I don't want to talk about but at some point will need to. I'm just not there yet and don't know if I'll ever be able to share them here. So many things to think about and changes I know I need to make. To be more open, to make sure everyone I love really knows I love them, to show them their value, to write love on all their arms.

Just know, I'm okay, the boys are okay, we're hanging in all right. 2 weeks until Jaben goes to Lead America and I hope he's fine. I'll be worried the whole week, so the kid needs to find his cell before then.

Today we're going to see UP and later I'll be working on an ad for my uncle and aunt's business. Beyond that? We'll see. It's the weekend, I don't have to have it all planned out.

Watch this video

Yeah, I know, I don't write much these days. Sorry. I just kind of thought everyone should see this video.

It snowed a little...

Or a lot. I actually took a snow day today, which I never do. It's interesting and would be nice and relaxing if my boys could get along. But they can't. *sigh*

Anyway, snow pics.

Point out the porch....

No? Yeah, it's under there somewhere. Hang on and you'll see in a pic further down.

Back driveway. And yes, in some places the snow is halfway up the fence.

This truck got stuck driving down our street. And I'm SO nice, I had to take a photo. But I feel for the guy. Really. I do.

Shot of our street from another direction. It actually doesn't look too bad from this angle.

Front steps again. This time you can actually see the porch and get an idea of just HOW MUCH darn snow we have!

I know a lot of people got a lot of snow, so I'm sure this doesn't look like much to some, but it really is a lot of snow and I'm soooooo ready for spring!! Bring on my WARM weather!

Some birthday pics

Gotta show off the birthday boy and post pics of the Thomas cake I made. Now, you CAN look at the Thomas cake, just don't look at the face.

Enjoy!

Kyan on his real birthday with the "throw together" cake.

The Thomas cake.

Kyan and the Thomas cake. Love the facial expression!

Thomas cake from another angle.

Thomas cake and the "extra" cake. I had too much sheet cake and tons of leftover colored frosting, so I used it up by making the second cake! Yeah, too much cake in my house now...

Boys playing at Kyan's party!

Kyan blowin out the candle on Thomas.

Kids all playing in the playroom during the party.

Kyan and Xavier.

Kyan and Alli.

This is all I'm going to post. There's more, but seriously, you can only look at so many of someone else's kid's birthday pictures. Kyan had a GREAT birthday - on the real day and on party day. An d that's all that matters.

Well, that and not having to do this for him again for another YEAR!!

Happy Birthday Kyan!!

So Kyan is 4 today. Doesn't seem possible. I could swear I just had him, but here we are, 4 yrs down the road and he's an awesome kid. He chose dinner tonight and we're having hot dogs, mac n cheese, and happy face french fries. Oh, and cake. Color chip cake with color chip frosting and Lightning McQueens and Maters on one side. Cuz he decorated it. I need to take a picture, it's THAT cute!

Ugh, I'm tired so this isn't shaping into much of a sappy Birthday post. Sorry bud... I'll make it up to you, I promise.

44

I haven't watched it yet but I heard it on the radio.

What a great day for America!!

YES WE DID!!

Let's all support and pray for the Obama family.

It is stupid cold out

It is currently -6 outside.

Ohio has officially frozen over.

Someone please come rescue me and take me somewhere tropical because I can't take much more of this!!!!!

More pics

There are more below this post, so keep reading. :-)

One really good shot of Jaben's orchestra concert. Handsome in his tie, isn't he?

I had some fun making Christmas cookies. I call this one Frankenstein's cookie...

Jaben, showing off his cookies...

Kyan showing of his cookies...

And now for some decorations, starting with the tree...

Followed by the stocking wall. This was my mom's really cool idea for using the old stockings. Also known as "The wall of stockings past."

Mantle, where the stockings would be hung if I'd gotten to it sooner...

One of the gingerbread houses we made. I think this one was Kyan's.

And since Jaben got so much face time, here's Kyan enjoying all that snow I hate.

I know I've got a ton more pictures, but this is all I have the patience to upload for now. I am going to change my profile pic to one I LOVE of Kyan, so be sure to look. But otherwise this is it for now.

While watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

I own that movie and I haven't watched it, but I do every time it's on tv. Wonder why that is?

Thanks for the comments on the NY post. Especially to those who said I was strong. That was cool, because I don't feel strong. I'm pretty sure most people don't. But it's nice to have other people think I am. I appreciate that very much.

So things are moving along. I got a great compliment via email from one of our reps at work. She sent it to my boss who (horrors!!) sent it out to my entire team. When I realized that was what he'd done I wanted to crawl under my desk. Seriously. I mean, it's nice (hell, it ROCKS) to get a compliment like that, to have people not only think you rock but let your boss know they think you rock. But I could've done without the entire team being brought in on it. Un-com-fortable!! Nice, but ugh. KWIM?

We've had a million feet of snow this week. I am sooo sick of the snow. I know, I live in OH and it's only January. I can't get sick of the snow yet, but I AM. I. So. AM.

I've been sitting here for a while trying to upload photos, but blogger just cut me off. So I'm going to post some here, and the next post will have more. I have TONS I haven't posted. I realize that post will be the top post, but oh well. At least the pics will be on here.

First off, Jaben's play, A Christmas Carol.

There are also curtain call pics, but I'll try to get them in the next post. Or not. Really, the shots of him as Bob Marley (above, with Jacob Marley) and the 2 above as a ghost (furthest to the right, with the sleeves cuz he had a quick-change) are the coolest pics, so that may be it.

Photos to be continued...

Happy New Year

Being the first day of a new year, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a new post.

But I'm not going to do the usual "year in review" thing. I mean really, it's been done everywhere. Not that I'm not thinking about those things... there were some big changes this year. A long stint of unemployment, having to take a job not-exactly in my field 36 miles away, my mother and sister also losing their jobs... things were especially rough this year. But there were some things that needed to happen as well. That backbone I've grown (or am growing, actually) has been a necessary change, learning to let go of the negative, removing myself from some toxicity... Granted, some of these things could've been handled better, but that's one of the things about being human -- you must always be learning and growing. And I'm doing that, working on it anyway. I've learned some things about how it's okay to make scary changes (I'm looking at you, Stacy) and how much I admire that ability in other people. That's one I'd like to develop myself.

And in the year to come, I want to work on forgiveness. For others, for myself. I'm harder on myself than anyone else could ever be and I need to learn to forgive me. But I need to learn to forgive others too. That's hard for me because so many times people seem to behave as if it's as easy as saying, "I forgive you," but it just isn't. It's got to be felt, and if I can't feel it I can't do it. So I need to let myself feel it. And for particular people... at least one of which isn't going to be so easy. But it's necessary - for me - because I don't want to live in anger. So I'll work on that. I have to, because even tho I don't want to go into details I will say it's something I'll be dealing with, even in absentia, the rest of my life. And I don't want to carry around all that negative energy. That's one of the reasons I needed to release some toxicity last year... I can't carry around the negative energy anymore. So.

So we look forward.

To really learning my new job and seeing what I can gain from it. It's a good strong company, which is amazing in this economy so it's not as if I need to be concerned with having to find another job soon. But I also know it's not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. So what can I learn from it, what can I take away from it, and what wonderful things will come from it?

To Jaben's trip to DC for LeadAmerica. We're working on finding sponsors because it's NOT cheap, but it's a wonderful thing for him, even already. He was nominated by his favorite teacher and it's already done wonders for his self-image. We've got a pretty good-sized payment due in 14 days that I don't know how I'm going to make, but we'll figure it out somehow. Because this is important and even tho I'm basically poor, I want the best for him. And for now, this is what's best. Anyone want to make a donation to a deserving kid? ;-)

To Kyan, growing and changing and seeing who he's becoming. He'll be 4 in 21 days (where did the time go??) and he's turning into an interesting kid. You can see just looking into his eyes how mischievious he is - he's such a little stinker! I love that about him. He's smart, he's stubborn, and he's so, so loving. Kissy, huggy. But boy o boy has he got stinky breath! Yeah, we gotta look into that this year.

To mom and Kel, doing their school things, figuring out what they want to do now. Seeing what will make them happy and watching them face new challenges. I can't wait to see this. It's going to be cool.

Ugh, okay, this did turn out to be one of those usual new year posts. Blech. Oh well, I tried.

More to come in the new year. I'm thinking about big changes around here, still playing with the idea of moving to a new address... but haven't made a solid decision yet. I'll let anyone who's reading (echo... echo... echo...) know if and when it happens. For now, have a great new year!